Virginia's Dream

How Many Rats Are There?

2010-06-07T07:00:00.000-04:00

"Just when you are sure you have figured out how to win the rat race, along come faster rats." Author Unknown

The Big One with Tufts on his Ears

Each time Russell was awake, he enjoyed fellowship with someone. Russell's doctor and his wife came with a pastor of Team Church. The topic of conversation: Baseball. World Series, who remembered which player, hopeless fanaticism for teams of questionable reputation, reminiscence of Russell's ball slinging days. Lots of smiles and a heartfelt prayer.

The Skinny One

The paralysis is moving further up Russell's body. His kidneys have ceased function. The best I can do for him is cushion him with the umpteen pillows which so annoyed him when we first married; keep his pain to a minimum; and cradle his head while I speak smilingly, softly.

The Momma

Momma brought him comfort spending time with him. It is just what Mommas have done since the first child was born into this world.

The Grey One

Poppa told him jokes which made him smile. A warm heart is good for the soul. Poppa also helped me with those things Russell would have loved to have done, had he been able.

The Teeming Pack

The animals have all come to cuddle, or lick, or in the case of our 16-year-old Tom cat...ask where the treats are hiding.

The Spotted Ones

Nicholas rubbed his fresh hair cut on Daddy's hand and smiled as he rubbed snitched chocolate from his fingers onto Daddy's Optimus Prime blanket. Veronica announced how terrific her room looked, so Daddy could see it in his mind's eye the way he did when we bought the materials.

The Quiet One

Our hospice nurse came for what she tacitly knew was the last time. In her gentle way, she let me know she would be there for me when the time came.

The Sprinter

Our speech pathologist graciously dealt with tired little muggers when they arrived from school. She marveled at the youth of my parents, and her heart ached for our family.

The Latecomer

News does not always travel like wildfire. Sometimes the flames blaze so brightly in one spot, other trees take longer to singe. Email came from the pastor's wife of Christ Fellowship Community Church (just south of the North Carolina line) received the news only today. She offered the sweetest of support.

The Distant One

MAGIC Foundation co-founder called to keep me on track with my children's disorders and remind me she would remind me again of things I need to do when I am sane (ish) again.

The Pregnant One

Vanessa will have the baby either tomorrow or be scheduled for Monday pending the outcome of lab work run today and tomorrow. So if your guess was the pop-up timer was right, score one for yourself.

The One Running the Wrong Direction

That would be me. Try as I might to reconcile this travesty to the pragmatic, practical world in which I operate...Alas, I cannot. Love may be a many-spendored thing, but it is a beautiful, sweet-smelling rose covered with thorns.

Dearest Lord, may we have one more dawn?
Ann Marie

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No Good Deed

2010-06-06T07:00:00.000-04:00

...goes unpunished.

Another Change

After a very long and arduous night Sunday, yesterday we changed Russell's medications dramatically. We changed anxiety medicine to a different anti-psychotic. We added another pain medication. Both of those were a good thing. His afternoon nap was almost six straight hours.

Pain Explained

The massive pain he felt on Sunday was the cancer pushing into his spine. It caused him to jump around and made him very agitated, as you can well imagine.

Monday, he was having a hard time moving his legs before his nap. When he awoke, he had lost the use of his legs. From what testing in which he would participate, his paralysis is from just above the waist.

Remember the Workout

I have begun some physical therapy with him. It is a similar beginner's therapy which I did with my sister when her multiple sclerosis took her from the chest down. For the first time, I am able to massage his uber-ticklish feet.

Simple changes, like the pillows from the couch helping to prop his legs and feet in the proper position, make a huge difference in his comfort level. Pain patches are no longer on his back, but adhered to the smooth skin on his sides: He asked I not shave his chest again. Yes, he is still in there!

A New Dawn

This morning, Russell's eyes were clearer than they had been in days. He was able to talk to me as though he understood the subject. He could not have coffee, like we have had so many mornings. Instead, he had a New York Mets sipper cup to have his Gatorade.

After a long time in the yard with Grandmomma and the dogs yesterday, the children enjoyed their first night in their remodeled room. They got to sleep in this morning. When they are awake and I have someone else here, I shall take them to school.

Today, Poppa and I shall finish their room, and I shall decorate with their favorite images of Spongebob Squarepants. Poppa is going to attach the headboard, and I am going to dress the bed in richly colored sheets. Each of their names will be on the wall, and each morning a new message for the day will appear on the dry erase wall. Truly, a den of learning!

We shall all enjoy today, for whatever it may bring.

Chin up!
Ann Marie

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Which one first?

2010-06-05T07:00:00.000-04:00

Half of you would like the good news first. I prefer to end on the better note: My own version of the spoonful of sugar.

The bad news first.

While we battle cancer here, at home another family member battles at nearly the same place. Mary Jo is my stepmother. Her Mother's Day news was not as wonderful as we would have hoped. Her PET scan and release from the hospital yesterday was difficult.

After a long bout with breast cancer, Mary Jo's PET revealed the cancer has metastasized to all of her major organs and her bones. She was released into hospice care.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

Russell will be the topic of conversation for the hospice caregivers and the oncologists. Russell has reached the point where the discussion is of a pain pump: Twenty four hour continuous release morphine. The mets delusions now get him out of bed to take care of things which are only real inside his head.

Now for the good news.

I will be posting a picture at the conclusion of Momma and Poppa's stay of yours truly climbing a tree, provided Momma used my camera properly.

Yesterday, for my Mother's Day gift, we harvested oak trees and bluebonnets for my yard from the game preserve across the street from my house. We also harvested a specific breed of pine tree which makes giant cones and has such long needles its branches have the look of pompoms. These will be Momma's take home gift from South Carolina.

Buds which arrived on Friday in anticipation of Mother's Day pushed out double-bearded blue irises by Saturday. Sunday brought Asiatic lilies opened wide like a sailor's sunrise.

I am not yet a grandmother, you see, that would not have been a grand Mother's Day present. My angel still has 2.5 weeks to go. Do you think she will make it? What if I told you that picture was more than a month old? Did that change your answer?

Even though the pop-up timer is fully extended (her navel), Caden needs to stay put at least another week. We would be happiest with two.

Chin up!
Ann Marie

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Changing to Something Better

2010-06-04T07:00:00.001-04:00

From the last post, you know the mets in Russell's brain are getting significantly worse. For those of you who are new, it has been progressing over the last month.

Yet Another Prescription

This one will take the place of his normal anxiety medicine. For all who take medication, each time your doctor proposes you take a medicine, ask him which medicine it will replace and why it is better for you than the one you already take. This is especially necessary for children who take everyday prescriptions.

While this medicine is far stronger, it also takes care of quite a few other things: Some of the tremors; some of the overactive dreaming which interrupts sleep (his and mine); some of the chemical imbalance in his brain; deactivating some of the neural pathways which make his brain function improperly.

More Hands

With the arrival of Momma and Poppa, I have more hands to complete tasks left neglected lately. One more task was added to my itinerary last night...a trip to the pool with the children. Never, ever underestimate the power of water to produce sleep in children...never.

More Eyes

With Poppa and Momma being able to watch out for Russell, I can spend today in the yard ensuring the pooches stay in the yard all the time! What a relief it would be to have them outside on a permanent basis!

It is all about family.

We are a unit and work in the same manner as the military. We are cross-trained to do jobs for one another and watch out for jobs which otherwise might fall through the cracks. Most fun, I am scheduled for a hairdo and a nap. Family is great!

Chin up!
Ann Marie

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The Mind is Willing?

2010-05-31T07:00:00.000-04:00

We know the body is weak. What do you do when the mind joins it?

Somewhere in the Middle

Metastatic cancer added to massive amounts of narcotics produces bizarre brain patterns. With cancer having breached the spine, entering the spinal fluid, some cells have traveled to the brain. There, they interrupt normal brain function.

Memories are mistaken for current events. Dreams find their way into conscious conversations. Current events mimic dreams. Then, there are the moments which are scary.

Talking during sleep is common on narcotics, especially the powerful cancer treatment pain relievers. They are not your mother's aspirin, after all.

When the sleepy conversation is between Russell and his parents, both of whom succumbed to cancer years ago, I have to wonder how close to the light he is treading.

What you heard was not what I said.

To quote Russell: Did you walk to work or bring your lunch?

If you ask a question and the answer is not only off topic but unintelligible, you have to wonder, "What is the difference between a bat?" (George Carlin)

While this was the exception two weeks ago, today, it is the rule. Simple conversations are becoming increasingly difficult.

This is the condition which follows (but not replaces) the memory loss. Overall, it is far more difficult to overcome. Memory loss is solved by repeating the conversation. The confusion is not so easily to explain sufficiently for anyone to understand.

Who are you?

As children, calling someone by the wrong name was cause for giggles and name calling. Calling a spouse by the wrong name can be hazardous to your health. When your spouse has to call more than three names to remember yours, "disheartening" is a lackluster description of the feeling.

Even the healthiest person can confuse children's names (especially when you have as many as we do). Calling girls by boys' names (and vice versa) is a far cry from the first scenario.

Remember what matters.

Love is what matters. Cancer cannot erode your love for your spouse. It allows you to forgive misspoken words, emotional outbursts and deafening silence.

Stay strong,
Ann Marie

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More of the Same?

2010-05-30T07:00:00.000-04:00

Over the last two weeks, the deterioration of Russell's spine has rapidly increased. With it, the cancer presses against his spinal cord and the remaining vertebrae. This pressure causes radiating pain down through his ribs, wrapping his torso in a vice-like grip.

And the doctor says...

More of the same.

A large increase in the pain patch dosage.
Although the dosage on the oral pain med was doubled two weeks ago, the doctor ordered another administration and added 20 extra pills to cover the next 15 days.

So, that changes what?

The stronger transdermal dosage will cut down the number of patches I need to keep on him to combat the pain...we can come down to two at a time.
I now have to wake him up in the middle of the night to give him pain med.
Already it is easing his pain, even if it makes most of what he tells me or asks me only occasionally coherent.

Coming Full Circle

Just like a newborn, he needs care every two to four hours. Anyone would hate going from professional athlete to the shell of person for whom I care today. Day by day, and now hour by hour, ability slips away as quickly as it amassed in childhood.

Making Sure to Remember

Just as the morning "pretties" and the goose-down news are important memories, each day I grow to cherish more the present I demanded for our last wedding anniversary.

Family portraits of a time when we were healthy and happy.

Do not underestimate the joy pictures bring later in life when you look back fondly on the happy times. Do not underestimate the power those happy memories have to erase the sad memories at the end.

Celebrate with your spouse, your patient. Celebrate with your children, family, colleagues and friends. Make the most of each day by dancing like no one is watching.

Write that down!

As I have done here, take the time to write down the happenings, changes, successes and everything else. Why? Someone may be helped by what you write, whether in a similar walk to yours or a problem far removed. You may be passing strength to someone in need, even when you feel you have none of your own.

Time to dance,
Ann Marie

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Living Better

2010-05-29T07:00:00.000-04:00

As the bones in his spine erode, Russell is in an increasing amount of pain. While I stand at the ready to change patches and dispense a pharmacopoeia, it does little good...or does it?

Better Living through Pharmacology

Yes, we both subscribe to this practice. The most important pill I give him each day is his antidepressant. Stop blinking. I did say his antidepressant.

Remember my last post? When you are relegated to the bed without reprieve, you have an enormous amount of time to think. And when you know you are on your way, dying comes into the contemplation zone often.

Keeping his depression at bay is as important as keeping his pain in the tolerable range.

Keeping my depression at bay is necessary for our family to continue to function.

Going Natural

The children are not in a position to be using drugs to divert depression. There are natural ways around it. A firm schedule is the best medicine for them. There is a safety net when you always know what comes next.

A "good morning" routine which includes snuggles and kisses and laughter starts each day. After school comes therapy. Next is playtime...indoors or out, weather prevailing.

Dinner, a bath and more snuggles with giggles end each day. The blissful slumber which follows ensures the morning smiles.

Regular exercise and proper sleep is the lesson we all should learn.

The Occasional Splurge

For under $5, we can have a party. Little hands help complete the cake mix. Cupcakes are lovingly frosted...Some with an icing knife...Some with little fingers. A tea pot filled with juice and we are ready for a great party.

Veronica will even take shopping bags or shoe boxes and fill them with toys as presents. A $2 bag of balloons will keep Nicholas busy playing solo volleyball while we girls rule the kitchen.

What I am splurging is not money, certainly, but time: To have the unbirthday party and to clean the icing from the ceiling fan (You really do not want to know.).

And when Daddy gets up, he gets one, too. Let's just keep the finger icing secret between us!

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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The Sunrise

2010-05-28T07:00:00.000-04:00

After years of enjoying pre-dawn coffee and conversation, it was difficult, at first, to adjust to Russell's absence at our sunrise bliss.

Hospice begins.

Although I am certain the full impact of being on hospice care eludes Russell, I see the positive impact on him already.

She is coming when?!?

Since we now have a constant parade of professionals and friends streaming through our front door, Russell has not been allowed to sleep throughout the day, as had become the required norm during chemotherapy. This, and a doubling of narcotic pain medication, has produced sleep at the appointed hour, even when the appropriate amount was unattainable.

Morning Meetings

When Veronica comes in to kiss her father "Good Morning" at 0545, more than half the time, Russell is awake to receive his morning love and deliver the appropriate "pretty" compliment to her before she goes to school.

Nicholas has discovered which of my pillows upon which to lay his head without disturbing Russell's precarious, pain-relieving position. He watches the morning news with Daddy.

Stabilizing the time he spends with the children has been be healing for them all.

It's my turn.

After the children are safely tucked on the bus, I enjoy a cup of coffee over morning meds (a meal on their own) for both of us. Even though he does not have the lust for our common beverage which birthed our dating practice of relaxing together, he can again speak with me of the day's itinerary, morning news and some interesting tidbits left over from drug-induced dreams.

Even if the line blurs routinely between reality and dreams during our morning conversations, the lucid portions are reminiscent of a time, not so long ago, when juggling 22 family crises, pets, household, business, charity and community was typical fare for sunrise coffee.

Postponed

On the days when our sunrise meeting is postponed until closer to lunchtime, we maintain our routine of talking everyday. More often, I have the same conversation with him later in the day when I report progress, as he has forgotten the original conversation.

Either way, my sunrise is back. The final flushing of the chemo from his system has significantly improved the quality of time we spend together, which is far more important than the length.

A brighter day awaits!
Ann Marie

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A River in Egypt

2010-05-27T07:00:00.000-04:00

Denial. I watched it happen in real time yesterday. I saw the pilot light of cognizance and admission flicker out, and the numbing calm of denial sweep in like a fog in the night.

Being prepared is not enough, sometimes.

With a week's notice, the conductor, porter and engineer daily explaining the trip and standing on the platform at the appointed hour...The train of the unknown pulled into the station with a smoky fury of screeching, sparking wheels and rails. It towered over Russell's consciousness, a stark reality hitherto ensconced in the ethereal future.

"All aboard!" means "Get on the train."

As the doctor saw Russell's darkness set in, he spoke to me in clinical terms to raise his own comfort level. I became the translator.

"We knew this was metastatic cancer from the beginning." Even if we name one cancerous area and develop a treatment plan, it will mutate to escape the treatment and move to another place to become another type of cancer.

"The cancer is unresponsive." No, the chemotherapy did not slow it down. It did calm the lymph nodes. The cancers continued unimpeded along the lung and the bone at the same pace they were traveling before chemo began.

"We have to talk about radiation." No guarantees of pain reduction. Definite killing of the microbial healthy tissue. Definite reduction of breathing capacity. Likelihood of novel centralized and/or localized pain. Short version: Major risk, definite destruction and no guarantee of pain relief.

"Do you want a CT of the head?" No. Knowing for certain would not make the symptoms go away or change the reality of the cancer destroying the vertebrae, the ribs and the lung. If it is traveling along the nerves, as it has the bone, we have already unsuccessfully completed the treatment prescribed for it.

"You need to go home and discuss the decisions you need to make."

A Glimmer of Recognition

"So, we are doing chemo today?" No. Chemo is no longer a choice. It has destroyed more good cells than cancer cells and made no significant impact. Chemo is just making you sicker than you already are.

"So, we are going to do radiation?" No. The risks far outweigh the chance of a benefit.

"So, can I travel?" No. You want to go to New York. You cannot be off of oxygen long enough to fly. You cannot stand long enough to get through security. You cannot sit long enough to fly. You cannot sit long enough to come to the hospital. If you need to go somewhere, call an ambulance.

"So, where are we going?" Home, Russell.

And hospice begins.

Ann Marie

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can change,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

May today bring a light into your life, that you may know your blessings.

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A Break in the Silence

2010-05-26T07:00:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow, we face the doctor's look at the results from the CT scan from last Monday. Today, Paige, our home nurse, came to take blood for what I hope will be the last time.

Russell Speaks

During the morning quiet while the children were at school, Russell and I talked about some things which bear on when he will not be here to make such decisions.

"Are you going home?" Some of you know we have been trying to escape South Carolina since the children began school (a whole other blog entirely). Russell had wanted to get me and the children home (Louisiana) before the end came. I hate to hear him apologize for it.

"Are you sending me home?" I am sending his ashes to be interred with his parents. Russell is returning to New York, but not the way he wanted to go. He had planned on returning one more time to say goodbye to the big girls, the big boys, his sister, cousins and nieces. Now, that is no longer an option.

"Why are you still here?" Because in my love for you, I vowed to do just this.

"I'm scared." Hand over the fear: I have a garbage bag to tie up.

"How are you holding up?"

I hear this question at least once per day. Some days my answer is a typically sarcastic, "With both hands." Other days, it is a not so pithy, "I am doing."

I begin everyday with both eyes clearly open.

I laugh with my husband every chance I get.

I tell him I love him every time his eyes open.

I hold my children tightly when they first wake up, come home and before bed. I assure them both of their parents love them.

I find moments when the children can spend some good time with Daddy.

I write.

If I miss tomorrow, forgive me in advance. I am not sure how tomorrow will affect me, but I promise to return to let you know.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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Needed: One Personal Trainer

2010-05-25T07:00:00.000-04:00

Baloney.

Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you feel better emotionally. Two birds: One stone. You do not need someone to plan it for you (and charge you for the privilege).

Sweatin' to the Oldies?

Only if you like the hairdo, striped shorts and that voice. Otherwise, think about more calming exercise.

Yoga
Pilates
Stretching
Walking
Dancing (!!!)

Yes, dancing. Even if you are just playing the radio and gigging in the kitchen, the music and the movement will make you feel good.

Walking will help you pound out some confusion and help keep you in good heart health.

Stretching, Pilates and yoga will stretch the stress from your muscles.

Kicking It Up

Have you reached the point where you are seriously considering finding a bell tower? You need some more physical ideas.

Tennis
Batting Cage
Driving Golf Balls
(Kick) Boxing or Tae Bo
Jogging or Running

The first four have something in common: Hitting. This particular physical release will do dual duty for you. You are producing a vat of endorphins and channeling your anger/frustration out of your body. You are striking out against your own pain.

Jogging and running are great cardio exercises. The feeling of your own heart beating in your chest is a physical manifestation you still have life. It dispels the tacit assumption you subconsciously made about your life being over.

Rocky Road or Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough?

Just tuck the carton in your pants...that is where it is going. Your diet better look just like the new nutritional pyramid.

Most importantly, it needs to begin with breakfast. No, you do not need a recipe for eggs Benedict (Although if you are out, you may as well order them.). Whether it is a plate of leftover dinner, a bowl of healthy cereal or fruit salad with a yogurt, fill your tank before you start the marathon the day will bring.

What good is a Lamborghini when it has no fuel?

Surfing

Whether channel or Internet, remember what your grandmother told your mother: Nothing good happens after midnight.

Mothers learn to sleep when their babies sleep. With a sick spouse, you have to do the same thing. Your body needs the sleep to re-balance dopamine and serotonin, brain chemicals needed for sanity.

Is the Lamborghini any better with a dead battery?

Pay Before you Pump

Before you can do any good for your spouse, you have to be in condition to care appropriately. This takes not only physical strength but also mental health. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your spouse.

Stay Strong,
Ann Marie

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Now what do I do?

2010-05-24T07:00:00.000-04:00

There comes a time when the only thing left to do is watch.

You have made the bed as comfortable as possible. You have administered all the meds. The sponge bath is over. Meals are complete. Your part is done.

But the pain remains. Emotionally, this is one of the most difficult parts of living with a spouse with a catastrophic illness.

It is not about me.

When helplessness sets into your psyche, the number one thing you must realize is:

This is not about you, but about your spouse.

To protect your mental health:

Schedule regular breaks from the action...even if the action is watching your spouse sleep. You need the alone time to process the enormity of impending death. And you have to face this enormity on a daily basis. It is not a one time feeling at the time of diagnosis. Some days, it will be stronger than others. For the sake of your spouse, be strong enough to say, "I need a break."

Break normal chores (the ones piled on top of spousal care) into tiny pieces. If you can only manage one load of laundry or one sink of dishes or sweeping one bathroom, that is perfectly fine.

When someone asks you, "What can we do for you?" Answer: Dishes. Mop. Vacuum. Grab something from the grocery or the pharmacy while they are out on their own errands...whatever it is you may not have finished. Anyone can do these jobs. They will be more than willing to do them for you while you take care of what they cannot: Your spouse.

Use every single hand extended to you...all of them. The sweetest little handicapped lady asked what she could do for me. My answer: Stop by my daughter's grave and place a flower from your yard. I have not been able to go the quarter mile to the graveyard in weeks. This alleviated my nagging burden for leaving the trip untaken.

Things look different.

When you have others helping you take care of the mundane things which would consume every waking hour if left to their own devices, you have the emotional and physical strength to alleviate pain, spend quality time with your spouse and be fulfilled in knowing your life is not crumbling outside the bedroom door.

Next we will talk about the physical upkeep for...not your spouse...yourself, so you can actually be an asset to your spouse.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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How do you get cancer?

2010-05-23T07:00:00.000-04:00

Cancer cells are normal cells which have failed to develop the way they should. As they begin to develop into organ, blood or bone cells, the DNA in the cell's nucleus sends the wrong signals to the cell. Instead of becoming a healthy new cell, it becomes a cancer cell.

Genetics

Since DNA dictates how cells form, cancer runs in families. Each family will pass along the mutated genes which make cell nuclei misfire and create cancer cells. In tracing family history, specific types of cancers and related cancers are easily traced from generation to generation.

Common treatable and survivable cancers (breast, colon, prostate, cervical and skin cancers) are immediately traced through family history. Doctors routinely propose more frequent screenings for those who are predisposed to these cancers

More malignant cancers (leukemia, lymphoma, lung, pancreatic and brain cancers) are pretreated differently. Doctors propose lifestyle changes along with screenings to reduce the environmental risks associate with these cancers.

Environmental Risks

Common environmental risks for cancer include:

Smoking, snuffing or "dipping" tobacco
Drinking alcohol
Poor diet and nutrition
Unprotected sex and poor sexual health habits
Working or living with carcinogenic (cancer causing) inhalants such as asbestos, certain manufacturing chemicals and paint
Continued exposure to carcinogens: insecticides, known cancer-causing agents and radiation-including sun exposure

Skip a Generation

As with all genetic heredity, not everyone in a family will definitely develop cancer. Some family history will help patients break the cycle of cancers in their family lines.

Reducing or eliminating environmental risks can reduce the likelihood of developing a cancer which is prevalent in a family, especially lung, cervical and skin cancers.

There is hope,
Ann Marie

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How hungry are you?

2010-05-21T10:00:00.000-04:00

The hunger is the will to fight. Before dismissing a course of treatment, cancer patients must decide how hungry they are to beat the cancer.

Radiation

This course of treatment is not open to all patients. Only certain tumorous cancers can be effectively treated with radiation. Excluded cancers include blood cancers (leukemia), bone cancers (osteocarcinoma), certain lung cancers (mesothelioma), Stage 3 and higher lymphoma and many brain and other organ cancers (pancreatic, liver).

Radiation can also be used following surgery for more survival cancers like prostate, testicular, breast, esophageal, peptic and colon cancers.

Side Dishes

Nausea: Extreme enough to cause painful vomiting

Weight loss: Side effect of nausea and body's natural reaction to radioactive materials

Hair loss: Side effect of radioactive materials

Mutations: Some cancers mutate under radiation. Though the tumor is reduced, other cancers (melanoma) can result from extended exposure to radioactive materials.

If the tumor can be reduced, many times the radiation will cause the remaining tumor to enter remission. The remission, or dormancy of the cancer, can last for as little as a few months or as long as a lifetime.

Surgery

Again, this is not an option for many cancers which do not produce tumors. Some tumors are not positioned favorably for removal. Others are perfect (melanoma). For the ones where surgery is available, it, too, has a plateful to accompany it.

Side Dishes

Anesthesia: General anesthesia (GA) has inherent risks, including failure of organs or appendages to successfully regain function after surgery.

Pain: Though typically to reduce pain, most surgery requires opening of muscles or the skull. Post surgery pain is common.

Recovery: Rehabilitation of severed muscle walls and area surrounding removed tumor.

Amputation: Most common variety is mastectomy.

Failure rate: Not all cancer cells are successfully removed when the tumor is removed. Based on the size of the cells and nature of the tumor, 100% success of cancer removal during surgery is far from guaranteed.

Is your appetite spoiling?

Next, we shall talk about chemotherapy and the option of no treatment. Then, we will talk about the appetizers which accompany every single diagnosis of cancer.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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Who is the bigger idiot...

2010-05-21T07:00:00.000-04:00

...the village idiot or the one kidnapped by the village idiot? (Zee, Antz)

Yesterday, we delved into the mental side effects of narcotics associated with relieving cancer pain. By the sound of numerous effects, an air of irresponsibility appeared. I need to clear the air.

What are you doing, doctor?

Pain relief. You will note the previous fragment actually has a period after it.

The physical pain associated with cancer and cancer treatment is phenomenal. In order to cope with the pain, narcotics are a way of life, despite the side effects. In the doctor's (and often the patient's) mind, relieving the pain is worth the side effects.

Are you serious?

First, do no harm. -Hippocrates

Every doctor takes the oath. Human compassion demands to relieve suffering wherever it is found.

Pain is the body's natural receptor for bad behavior. -Ann Marie Dwyer, paraphrased from Taming the Terrible Twos: A Parents' Survival Guide

Bad behavior is not always defined as the patient's bad behavior. Sometimes, it is the body acting badly. Other times, it is the body acting badly because of the patient's having acted badly.

What choice is there?

Let me posit a scenario for you:

You go to the medical doctor with a headache. That small pain is what triggered your visit, since his job is to relieve pain.

He gives you a pain reliever to alleviate your suffering right now, but orders tests.

When the results come back, he tells you he knows there is a tumor growing in your head. Right now, you feel very little pain, but if only the pain is treated, you will lose all motor function within weeks. No walking. No writing. No talking. No eating. No caring for yourself or others.

He stands there and looks at you waiting for your question: What should I do? In his mind, he knows he needs to see other patients and has a golf game at 4:00 o'clock. He instinctively writes a prescription for narcotic pain control while he waits. His job is to relieve pain. You have options.

One from Column A and up to Two from Column B

Column A contains:

Nothing: Pain will increase, and death is imminent. (This is a full meal and comes with no condiments from Column B.)
Surgery: Absolutely no guarantee of cure; carries a chance of death in and of itself.
Dietary therapy: To reduce the intake of free radicals, increase the vitamin intake and boost the body's immune system to fight the tumor.

Column B

Radiation: Not a cure, but a stop gap to reduce tumor size and therefore pain and suffering.
Chemotherapy: Not a cure, but weighing the side effects against death...
Nothing. (This dessert ends in death and is not accompanied by anything else in Column B.)

All dishes served with a bowl of narcotics and vitamins to combat the side effects of the meal.

I'm not that hungry.

Before you say that out loud, consider the finality of death. What would you endure not to die?

Next, we will look into what you need to know before you decide how hungry you really are.

Trying each day,
Ann Marie

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Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?

2010-05-20T10:00:00.000-04:00

Narcotics are nasty..."There is a reason they call it dope."

Watching the personality of your patient change is difficult, even when you know the reason.

It wore off.

When narcotics wear off, and pain reenters the picture, the voice coming out of the body is physical pain. Along with physical pain are myriad emotions associated with the pain.

Frustration: The inability to control the situation of the disease and pain.
Grief: The inability to do mundane daily activities, which, in retrospect, were not so horrid chores.
Anger: The combination of grief and frustration.
Self-Pity: The confusion caused when control over one's own body is lost.
Shame: Loss of pride at admitting someone else must care for even the most basic of needs.
Denial: The desire to be in another circumstance.
Blame: The confusion leading the patient to believe the condition is the fault of the caregiver.

Pain is a way of life.

Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. Poking and prodding and invasive maneuvers to get information can make your patient (and you) believe the treatment has an evil intent all its own which is equal to or greater than the disease's intent to kill.

To quote Disney's Genie from Aladdin: You would be amazed what you can live through.

Pain is a way of life for a cancer patient. Unfortunately, the narcotics in smaller doses only diminish the pain to a "bearable" level. Equally unfortunate: In higher doses, the narcotics remove the patient from reality.

Maybe that is not so bad?

Many people would run away if it were possible. They would manage their pain to the point of barely being conscious of their surroundings. This is an informed choice to be made by the patient with the consent of the doctor. Despite what the caregiver may desire, this is not a choice she can make.

What are the drawbacks?

For the patient, truly few...pneumonia is the largest threat, followed distantly by bedsores. Poor appetite can potentially cause other problems.

Cancer is not only a physical disease. The mental drawbacks are mighty. Let's look into a few:

Loss of long term memory
Failure to produce short term memory
Lethargy, lack of desire
Poor attitude
Poor impulse control
Inappropriate or flat affect
Mild dementia-like symptoms
Overstimulated REM sleep

Don't some of those have an upside?

To say they do not would be a lie.

This is more a problem for the family than the patient. As life comes to a close, family wants to rekindle memories of bygone happiness. Your patient may not remember enough to actively participate in such reminiscence.
This is a problem for the part time caregiver. Your patient will not remember activities of the day and self-report erroneously. This patient should not have access to medications or poisons. For all intents and purposes, this patient must be treated as a child for all important matters.
Lethargy can lead to surrendering the will to live. Caregivers need to be particularly cognizant of the depth of the lethargy. At all times, engage the patient in your own activities with him. Be aware of all activities with which you could interest your patient.
This understandable drawback is associated with the disease as much as the treatment. Do not wear your feelings on your sleeve. Take insults and apparent swipes with a grain of salt. Rarely are they intentional, but they are a needed release of anger.
Reduced inhibitions are a side effect of narcotics, but they are also a side effect of anger and frustration. Take particular care your patient does not put himself in harm's way in activities he may feel he can successfully attempt.
Engage your patient in conversation about something within his sight. Trigger any emotion which would allow for a change in his affect. Whether or not you are successful, report this to the doctor. This is an end-stage symptom.
Memory loss in short or long term will produce dementia symptoms. If your patient begins a conversation about a time period in which he has never lived, play along. Do report this to his physician.
REM sleep often extends for a short period into wakefulness. It is another manifestation of the poor impulse control during wakefulness. If your patient talks to you from REM sleep, talk back in a non-committal manner. Do not steer the dream in a certain direction. This is his mind coping.

The mental aspects of extended narcotic use are more difficult for the caregiver than the patient since the patient is not cognizant of the side effects as they occur. Seek help for yourself as routine to discuss your feelings about losing the personality of your patient.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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A Moment of Silence

2010-05-20T07:00:00.001-04:00

Rather than the post I intended for today, I feel compelled to update you on our situation, which will expound in personal detail the scenarios.

The Day of Truth

As I revealed, today was the day for a computed tomography (CT) scan. The results from today were compared to the results I posted on March 25, 2010. Do note, the first chemotherapy treatment was administered on January 19, 2010, thus marking three months since the first treatment.

As of today, the mesothelioma has failed to be curbed by the chemotherapy. Its resistance has resulted in further thickening of the pleura and advancement to nearly 90% encasement of his right lung.

The adenocarcinoma (tumor under his scapula-shoulder blade) has continued to grow. It now has broken the fifth rib, bringing a total of three destroyed ribs. It has advanced along the bone and has begun destroying the right side of both the T3 and T4 vertebrae. These are the thoracic (chest) vertebrae or the tenth and eleventh from the skull. They are opposite the sternum (breastbone).

No mention was made of affected lymph nodes, and no other major organs have been affected.

The Hard Place

With an unresponsive type of cancer which is neither operable nor a candidate for radiation, the choices are limited to two:

A different blend of chemotherapy drugs with pain management
A pain management only therapy

Yes, the second choice is not fighting the cancer with traditional medicine.

The Rock

Russell is on a chemotherapy regimen which is the industry premium for treating lung and bone cancers, among many others. The chemotherapy has depleted his body. He has lost more than 30 pounds in the last 60 days. Chemotherapy causes nausea, dehydration, mineral deficiencies and other similarly appetizing side effects.

His blood levels are dangerously unbalanced. The comprehensive metabolic panel (CMP) blood test reveals the chemicals have damaged the vessels going to and from his liver, pancreas and kidneys. This type of damage is irreversible and causes the organs to function improperly.

The Question

Is it better to live with the pain associated with the cancer and the chemotherapy or simply live as well as you can managing the pain of the cancer?

This is not a choice I may make for him. Russell must decide for himself how he will live.

Holding on,
Ann Marie

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Around the world in 80 minutes?

2010-05-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

Where did you plan to take your dream vacation? Go virtually. Print a brochure, read a travel review, download a native recipe and make an afternoon of it. Eat authentic food and have a conversation about what you learned.

If you patient is snoring, no need to delay the trip.

Read the brochure, and use your mind's eye to insert yourself into the scene.
Call up a friend to whom you have not spoken recently. Discuss adventure.
Play music from your destination.
Get a movie about or set in yout destination.

Close your eyes, and let your spirit free to roam your surroundings. Yes, this is permission to daydream.

Where is the day care?

Cannot pull it off to the pitter-patter of little feet and curious hands? Bring them along.

Do a native craft with them.
Discuss the indigenous wildlife while they draw the animals. Do not correct the purple fur on the lynx. It is their virtual vacation as well.
Sit in the recliner and rock to the sound of reading aloud the brochure. You have just been promoted to tour guide.
Dress up for a native dinner party. See how imaginative the children can be in recreating native costumes from their own toy boxes and your closet.

Exercise that long dormant inner child.

To keep or to toss, that is the real question.

Organize a seldom used storage space. You can always find laughter in the closet and the cabinet.

Stroll down memory lane by seeing which clothes you can donate. Laugh out loud when you see that double-breasted leisure suit, right before tossing it in the donate box.
Rearrange the pictures in your photo albums and consider putting some of those into the frames in the Hall of Fame-ily.
Look under the bathroom sink. Look at dates and wonder why in the world you ever kept it in the first place.
Rifle through the stack of magazines strewn about your coffee table. Remove the address labels and toss them in a sack to take to your patient's chemotherapy waiting room. Are there not some books on the shelf with which you could part? They should go as well.
What floor covering is in the bottom of your closet? Rediscover it. See if you can fill a garbage bag with items to either donate or pitch.

So what does this accomplish? You have...

...exercised your right to control your living environment.
...harmed no (human) animals in your quest.
...strummed the charitable strings in your own heart.
...rightfully identified there are those who are not as fortunate as yourself.
...lifted a burden off your heart.
...improved the living situation in your home.

And it did not cost you one penny. There is no better reward than one without a price tag.

From my inner child,

Keep playing,
Ann Marie

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Like Sand Through the Hourglass...

2010-05-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

Day: a measure of time consisting of 24 hours, 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds.

Autopilot

The daily grind is simple when you are proficient in your rote activities. Chores take time, but rarely do they require an excess of conscious thought.

Do you find yourself cleaning when you are upset? There is a reason. By cleaning the crud off of belongings in your abode, you are exercising control. You may not be able to scrape the barnacles from the underbelly of your situation, but you can wax the hull above the water until it shines.

There is only one downfall to autopilot: Credit. No, not plastic or the time left nonsalaried in pursuit of K time.

With your brain in neutral, you run the risk of worrying. The only purpose of worrying is to burn Vitamin C. Do you have extra vitamins to burn? That is what I thought!

Lieutenant, engage.

If you absolutely cannot eradicate thoughts entirely, engage it in something constructive.

Mentally plan some scheduled free time. (oxymoron explained below)
Make a mental checklist of what you can accomplish tomorrow. (establish hope)
Consider what you can do with your children or grandchildren. (celebration of life)
Plan a favorite meal. (health consciousness)
Think about all the jobs already checked off your list. (accomplishment)

Military Intelligence

Long the standing oxymoron to explain behavior which is expedited far in advance of the need for completion: Hurry up and wait.

Scheduling free time is just as poignant an oxymoron. Plan what you want to do during the quiet time. If you had an hour where no menial demands would intrude, what would you do?

In your own best mental health interest, do something you enjoy, even if it consists of nothing more than television watching you (napping with the dog and a snuggly blanket on the couch).

Consider meditating or exercising. Your brain will produce endorphins to raise your mood.

Are you up for a telephone free, no interruptions, locked door, candle lit, aromatherapy Epsom salts soak in a hot tub of water?

Do you know where the last book you bought, but never have had time to read, is?

These are great free time activities to banish the blues, worry and stress from your brain and heart without leaving your patient.

Company, dismissed.

If you can use your time to leave, go. Build up some Vitamin D by getting sunshine on your face. Even your backyard is away from the worry.

Plant some flowers, vegetables or trees. (celebrate life)
Take a ball or Frisbee to the dog. (fellowship)
Sip tea on the swing. (relax)

Are you able to leave the premises?

Go buy something for a project you have not finished. (foster accomplishment)
Visit someone who needs adult interaction. (perspective)
Visit a gym. (more endorphins)
Bring your laptop to the coffee shop, and let someone serve you. (relax)

This free time is paramount to your sanity, which you may have noticed being AWOL on a more regular basis.

Lead by Example

Yesterday, I went to the hardware store for chicken wire to impede my dogs escape from the yard. When I came home, I shoveled, raked, wired and began leveling and repairing my back porch.

The endorphin rush led directly into a trip to the dump. How absolutely satisfying! Taking my recyclables (long neglected) to the solid waste facility allowed me to make a major dent in a project long on hold: My laundry room.

I brought my little man out to use his miniature shovel to help. Just some time with my son's excitement and satisfaction made me more buoyant.

And the best part of all of it? I slept like a rock. Rested this morning, I am content to work inside the house...but I am planning my next outdoor adventure: Exchanging my dandelions for zinnias; moving a crepe myrtle out of harm's (school bus') way and spreading more allysum to compliment the wild purple lantana in my yard.

New Orders

The next post will address the other better places you can go without leaving home and why it is vital to your success.

Forward, march!
Ann Marie

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Deafening Silence

2010-05-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

With fans, compressors, dogs, a crotchety 16 year old cat, a telephone and children, one would think my house would never be quiet.

You are officially on ignore.

Some sounds I never hear:

The chirping of the fire alarms. No, the batteries are not dead. They are wired directly into the house. No, I do not know how to make them be quiet. Yes, they pass the monthly test. Yes, I can ignore it every 1.5 minutes (more than one beeping).

The neighbor's hounds (English bulldogs) barking at my hounds (Tennessee treeing coonhounds).

Snoring, despite species. Except for my parents (Sorry, Momma & Poppa.), snoring is a background noise to which I accomplish much, including slumber.

Trains and F-16s. We live one-quarter mile from a terrorist training target for a nearby Air Force base. No less than 15 fighters fly over the house each week. The only time a train wakes me is when it is late, and I do not hear it...freight train or subway.

The sound of little feet jumping on the bed.

Rip the knob off!

Some sounds enter my ear at a volume which would wake the dead:

A baby belch, cough, rolling over or kicking in a crib across the house with the doors all closed between us.

Apnea: Canine, feline or human. From a dead sleep (every time my eyes close), I am sitting up in the bed or staggering to the correct room to place my hand on someone's chest.

The sound of little feet hitting the floor in the middle of the night.

Silence is not golden.

Since my retirement, I have grown used to talking to Russell all day long. If he was at work, he used all our minutes to talk to me. Once he retired, we talked in person.

If you would have asked me ten years ago, I would have wished for a day like yesterday. The children were home from school (spring break) and one of my spotted dogs was in the house.

All through the house, not a creature was stirring. Cash was holding down the couch. The children were "camping" in the center of the floor on a brown blanket (island) surrounded by blue ones (water). Russell was sleeping so well, even Mr. Saw Mill was not snoring.

I took advantage:

Eight loads of laundry
Load of dishes
Chili con queso
Appliance cleaning
Shoveled evidence of children
Vacuuming
Carpet shampooing
Paying the last bill this month
Trash collecting
Video games
Email catch up
Lesson plans
Career Day planning

So, for what do I possibly have to complain? No feedback. How lonely it is to float through a full day without speaking to another human, and in my case especially another adult human.

At least I could come in their rooms and see them to ensure they were still here.

To quote Momma, "Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it." I realize now how much the 47 telephone calls per day and hearing "Mommaaaaaaaaaaaa" twice as often was not half as annoying as I thought it was.

Now, I can tell you verbatim the last conversations Russell and I have had. Just as I would never dream of letting him walk out the door or get off of the telephone without hearing me say, "I love you," he will not close his eyes to rest without hearing it.

The Leprechaun was here.

The gold here is words will not be left unspoken, which happens to be a good practice regardless of health, distance or attitude.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

Photo Credit: Russell and Ann Marie's dog Cashisti (Cash) in South Carolina, 2009.

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Yes, it is contagious.

2010-05-17T07:00:00.000-04:00

No, not the cancer, but the feeling bad.

Medical Records

My medical records look like the IRS code in hardback. People close to me know I act and operate healthy as a horse, but under the skin I am damaged goods with irritable bowel syndrome being the intense, stress-triggered reminder my body is not 100%. There are other irritants I have banished, most notably migraines. One (week's worth of) blog post we will discuss how to cope when caring for someone infinitely sicker than yourself.

Sympathy Pain

Even though it is psychosomatic, sympathy pain no less painful. Men get it when their wives are pregnant, especially morning sickness. Caregivers often feel the physical pain of the spouse fighting cancer. Just as the nurse asks you to rate the pain on a level of one (just noticeable) to ten (the worst pain you have ever felt), when you ask your spouse how he feels, be prepared to have your number go up with his answer.

Pets and Children

Just like the cat snuggles up to you when you do not feel well, and the dog insists on kissing your face and cleaning your "paws", your pets absorb some of the pain. Give some extra attention or perhaps a treat to console your pet.

In children, it does not usually manifest in physical pain but, instead, as emotional pain. Look for tantrums at even favorite activities and foods. Notice seclusion. It is a red flag your little one is hurting and is your call to duty as a parent to take action.

Depression

The single most common denominator for all cancer patients is depression, followed closely by major depression. From the moment of diagnosis, depression plays the part of the wet blanket...sometimes the wet, lead blanket.

Depression can cripple an otherwise healthy person. Imagine compounding it with catastrophic illness. Consider it exacerbated by a factor of ten.

Now, imagine depression of the caregiver. The point comes where there is no return from the cancer. Through the foggy fugue of depression, the caregiver is responsible for such cheerful activities as planning to distribute an estate, sitting at a bedside without acknowledgement of the patient and making funeral arrangements.

Guaranteeing the caregiver's mental stability is paramount to ensuring the patient's emotional state. It is only faked by the most Academy-awarded actors. The caregiver needs to maintain mental health to remain strong enough to care for the patient.

Insomnia

Insomnia is a symptom of mental health, medications and/or the lack of both. Do you know how easy it is to start a vehicle with a dead battery? Sure, some good Samaritan has a set of jumper cables, but you are the good Samaritan for your cancer patient. Without proper sleep, you will not and cannot give the quality of care your patient needs.

Your brain needs sleep to process information clearly. Have you noticed yet the effect of narcotic pain medications on your patient? You do not need insomnia putting you on par with him.

Talk to your doctor if you are not getting enough sleep. Based on your medical history, you may need vitamin supplements, sleeping medication, both or neither.

Germ Transportation

A cancer patient's immune system is compromised by the treatment, especially chemotherapy. Before you come in contact with your cancer patient: Scrub, change into fresh clothes, wear gloves/mask, spray an anti-bacterial agent on your shoes. What is a simple sinus infection to you will grow up to be pneumonia for your patient.

Who am I?

This is three fold: Your very own split personality.

First and foremost, you are a spouse who loves your patient more than any other persons trying everything in their power to heal your spouse.

Second and able to be deferred, you are a segue nurse. You can recognize symptoms which are unusual which a doctor or nurse may not know is unusual. You can take any level of professionalism your learning curve will sustain.

Third and most confusing, you are now your patient's spouse. As the medical team members come and go, you are not considered an equal in terms of intervention, interaction and information. Likewise, you are not considered your own entity, but rather a surrogate for what your spouse may not be able to understand or follow.

Where is the mirror?

Find a mirror and remind yourself. Whether you are looking into a compact or a puddle of water, look at yourself. Speak out loud.

"I am (state your name). I love (state spouse's name). This is the sickness I vowed not to defect, but to persevere. I am important to my spouse, who needs me. I am a whole person who is able to help."

If you do not think you can recite the speech, concentrate on the Spirit in your heart. The words will flow freely thereafter.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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The Apex

2010-05-16T07:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was the day after chemotherapy. By far, it is the best day of the cycle.

Full of it!

With liters of saline watering down the poison, Russell's blood volume was good. His heart rate was down from its normal 120+. His color was not the pallor of last week. The potassium and B12 gave him a boost of energy akin to the non-stoppable, ever-readiness of our children. I was ready to take full advantage of events others take for granted: We were going to tackle spot shopping.

Load up!

The children are home from school for spring break. I asked, "Who wants to go to the store?" To the credit of the school's speech pathologist, Nicholas raised his hand and said, "I do!"

Veronica asked, "Where are we going?" Ever the social director, she needed the itinerary.

"We are taking Daddy to the hospital for his medicine, and then we are going shopping. Do you want to go to the store?" Instantly, my mind's eye saw her with a pencil behind her ear, clipboard in hand, bird-dogging her help.

Getting everyone in the car, a mild adventure on a good day, was a chore with which Russell helped. (Victory!) He grabbed Nicholas' hand and out the door my men went.

Pick a channel.

Daddy likes light '80s. Veronica likes turn of the century NY clubbing music. Momma prefers classic '60s rock & rock. Since Veronica asked for a specific song before I turned on the player, clubbing music it was.

Halfway through the trip, Daddy started signing, "If I were King of the Forest" (1939 Wizard of Oz). Veronica was delighted and learned the words before we got to the hospital.

I am glad my car knows its own way to all the places we go. The ocapella chorus, of questionable quality, was as entertaining as the morning and evening chorus our hounds use to serenade us each day.

The smiles made my heart soar.

"I want hamburger chickens."

In the unending attempt to put weight on Russell, when have instituted a tradition: McDonald's after the hospital. Russell gets a high-fat sandwich. I get a fish patty. Nicholas gets French fries (his second voluntary vegetable). Veronica gets "hamburger chickens". She knows we go to get hamburgers, but she gets chicken nuggets. To her mind, they are "hamburger chickens".

Shoot me before Wal-Mart.

The sheer size of what I consider a microbial store, wears Russell. He does well to travel 300 feet at a clip before sitting down to catch his breath. We made a full lap of the store with Russell even traveling a few aisles to retrieve what interested him.

Interest alone is a victory. For more than three weeks, Russell has had no appetite. I have been unable to entice him to eat even his dyed-in-the-wool favorite foods. For the silver lining, the dogs are eating well as a result.

Back to the road!

With everyone having gotten a toy (Russell, too), we loaded up for the 35 mile trip home. A vibrant conversation ensued, with all occupants in participation. Nicholas even tried to keep up with the melody of the songs.

Please stow your tray tables as we prepare for descent.

We stopped by the mailbox. Russell rightfully fussed it was brimming. The mailbox has always been his job, but the quarter mile round trip to the mailbox is more than he can handle. Yes, our front yard is a bit over one-tenth of a mile.

I am not fond of snail mail. My paraplegic sister has been my postal ray of sunshine. We send each other cards and hand made postcards. She maintains, "It is so nice to go to the mailbox and get something from someone who does not want money." She is right.

The children were happy to bring in merchandise and help put everything away. The dogs were glad to see us with a full box of French fries. Russell was tired, but fulfilled from the trip. I was happy we had spent the time together.

Laughter is good medicine.
Ann Marie

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Is this the rock or the hard place?

2010-05-15T07:00:00.002-04:00

For the last few days, Russell and I have discussed how bad the chemotherapy affects him. We had to face a round of poison yesterday.

I am bulletproof.

The day after chemotherapy is the best day. The body is fully hydrated with a high potassium level. He has slept during his treatment. His eyes are clear and sparkly. Russell has energy and the desire to "go".

The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak.

I have to be really careful as I rain on Russell's parade. Although he feels "perfectly fine", I know the poison is coursing through his veins. It is destroying the good indiscriminately with the bad.

Having to be the voice of reason after weeks of cajoling to get him to do anything feels like I have horns and hooves. No matter how good Russell feels, I have to curb his pie-in-the-sky desires to be the husband I married. The alternative is disastrous. He does not want to understand his body is still as fragile as it was yesterday, despite how "good" he feels.

A Mylar Balloon

Russell's body floats through chemotherapy like a balloon. The day after chemotherapy he is buoyant, physically and in spirit. Over the next ten days, he slowly deflates and hangs, still shiny, just above the floor.

When the nadir hits, normally on day 13, sleep is the only solace available to him.

Starting the next day, I have a race to fill him back up (with healthy calories, spiritually and fluidly) before it is time to poison him again. Realistically, I cannot undo in seven days what took the poison two weeks to do. When I pump him up, I am using a bicycle pump instead of an industrial pneumatic pump.

Bottled Poison vs. Bodily Poison

The question du jour is:

Is it better to have the poison injected or let the poison within run its course?

This is not giving up. This is reality setting into our life. Each successive treatment means the balloon is less filled before the poison goes into it. Each time it deflates a little further than before. The deterioration is easy to see.

On the other hand, the cancer is not as easy to see. The pain of the broken ribs: See it. The difficulty breathing: See it. The trouble eating: See it. The tremors: See them. The lightheadedness and dizziness: See it. The oxygen-deprivation dementia: See it; hear it; agonize over it.

But what is the cancer really doing?

Not my choice.

If our roles were reversed, I would have forgone chemotherapy. If God is calling me home, I have my ticket in my heart. Mortgage be damned: I would be enjoying the moments I have left after I settled my affairs.

But the roles are not reversed.

The doctor was reluctant to allow the treatment yesterday. Reports on blood work and the overall health report explained how empty the balloon is. Russell wants to fight, and the doctor respected his wishes.

The choice is coming.

On April 19, 2010, we return to the hospital for a computed tomography (CT or CAT scan) of his chest and abdomen to reveal the current state of the cancerous tumors and plaques. Based on the results of that scan, the doctor may refuse to administer any more chemotherapy. At that juncture, the choice may not be Russell's any longer.

Stay strong,
Ann Marie

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Sick and tired and tired of being sick.

2010-05-15T07:00:00.001-04:00

You knew from the date of diagnosis the sick days would be closer together and more intense. Coping with involuntarily becoming a single parent with another "child" can be stressful.

Be reasonable in your expectations.

Reasonableness is likely the last feeling you are willing to identify in your daily routine. But the fact remains, he cannot help do some of the simplest things...and those will be the first you notice. The first one I noticed: The litter box. Far and away, it is the chore I enjoy the least. I would sooner scrub the oven with a 2mm camel hair paint brush.

Look for the silver lining. You have a new perspective to appreciate the things he did for you regularly. Take a minute to be thankful to and for him, verbally and in prayer. Do you need to ask forgiveness for not being more appreciative?

Be reasonable for what you expect, and understanding for the things you cannot expect.

Eat the elephant.

Anyone can eat an elephant if they do it one bite at a time. Some pieces will be tough and gamy. Chew those first., but reward yourself with a tender bite next.

When you get to the gristle, share the meal. You are surrounded with well-intentioned people who are asking what they can do for you. Smile and, with a sunny expression, proclaim, "Chores!"

If you are uncomfortable asking for someone to do your chores, ask them to keep you company while you do them. If they volunteer to help, the offer is coming from the heart...take it to heart and let them.

Does anyone have a catapult?

You know there are some things you simply cannot do. If it is something which must be done, recruit two or three sets of hands to help you or to just do it for you. If it is something which may be skipped, skip it. Before you do, find your reflection, forgive yourself for being human and remind yourself staying sane and healthy is more important than edging the lawn.

Escape.

You are the one who is caring for the home and all of the residents. Take a vacation from your responsibilities. How?

Take a walk with your dog or your best friend.
Drive and look at the countryside.
Talk to your pastor or counselor.
Write in your journal or blog.
Read a book on the porch with a tea or a decadent slice of cake.
Go to the batting cage.
Get a manicure or pedicure or, better still, both.
Meditate.
Listen to your favorite disc.
Take a hot bath or shower with the door locked and the telephone off.

Even if all you have is thirty minutes, use it to take some necessary "me time". Removing yourself from the rat race is the best medicine to thwart what consistently feels like you are wearing Gouda shorts.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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One Set of Footprints

2010-05-14T07:00:00.001-04:00

Many have mistakenly told me I was being very strong. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. My Savior carries me.

Questioning the Faith

The first day of cancer shakes the foundation of faith through our human frailty. We think of our God as a merciful God. Cancer is not the poster child for a charitable God. Many patients and health/primary care givers question their own faith in the face of catastrophic illness.

God never left.

Many genuinely well-meaning people instantly pray for a cure. In fact, this is the last prayer to pray. When asking for prayer, lead by example praying the first one. Bringing yourself closer to God will strengthen your faith so you may have the strength to handle what you have to do.

Right now, you are being carried. God has the ability to help you do this. Pray for His strength in you.

Peace in my home.

When asking others for their prayer, you should first ask for peace in your home. Yes, I know you want to be delivered from the Cup. Christ was not delivered from His Cup in order to serve His purpose. This illness is your cup that others may see Christ in your heart...an impossible feat had Christ been delivered from His: Be more like Him.

Worrying over the body is a joint effort from professional care givers. Worrying over the soul is your job. Before you can do that job, peace is a prerequisite. You are not giving up by praying for serenity and courage. You are successfully navigating the grieving process.

Give the illness to Him.

God has the power to deal with the disease. Remember, part of God's plan may be to bring your spouse to the edge of mortality to ingrain the importance of being spiritually saved. As you deal with the physical, a firm faith allows you to realize death is merely the doorway to God.

Ask the tough questions and answer honestly.

Pointblank, as your spouse about Salvation. At this juncture, mortality is a reality. The gravity of the situation is ingrained. If the answer is no, evangelize without condescension. Testify as to the blessings in your life. Read about the Kingdom of Heaven.

If the answer is yes, praise and prayerfully thank God.

If your sick one is not ready to turn over his life, control and soul to Christ, seek counsel of your own. Bearing the knowledge of your spouse's imminent descent is a weight under which you may easily break. Seek serenity, for this is not a choice you may make for anyone else.

If the denial continues, pray for wisdom to know whether or not this is a situation you can change.

Calling in the Troops

If your prayer is answered with wisdom, recruit help. Let others witness to him to allow for Spirit to move within his heart. You may find it will take six or more people to exhibit faith before your spouse finds the peace which passes understanding. One person will press the button, and the Spirit will flood his soul.

The Blue Plate Special

God is not going to put on your plate more than you can eat. He may, however, do it before you know you are hungry.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

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Who is the bigger idiot...

2010-05-13T09:37:00.000-04:00

...the village idiot or the one kidnapped by the village idiot? (Zee, Antz)

Yesterday, we delved into the mental side effects of narcotics associated with relieving cancer pain. By the sound of numerous effects, an air of irresponsibility appeared. I need to clear the air.

What are you doing, doctor?

Pain relief. You will note the previous fragment actually has a period after it.

Are you serious?

First, do no harm. -Hippocrates

Every doctor takes the oath. Human compassion demands to relieve suffering wherever it is found.

Pain is the body's natural receptor for bad behavior. -Ann Marie Dwyer, paraphrased from Taming the Terrible Twos: A Parents' Survival Guide

Bad behavior is not always defined as the patient's bad behavior. Sometimes, it is the body acting badly. Other times, it is the body acting badly because of the patient's having acted badly.

What choice is there?

Let me posit a scenario for you:

You go to the medical doctor with a headache. That small pain is what triggered your visit, since his job is to relieve pain.

He gives you a pain reliever to alleviate your suffering right now, but orders tests.

One from Column A and up to Two from Column B

Column A contains:

Nothing: Pain will increase, and death is imminent. (This is a full meal and comes with no condiments from Column B.)
Surgery: Absolutely no guarantee of cure; carries a chance of death in and of itself.
Dietary therapy: To reduce the intake of free radicals, increase the vitamin intake and boost the body's immune system to fight the tumor.

Column B

Radiation: Not a cure, but a stop gap to reduce tumor size and therefore pain and suffering.
Chemotherapy: Not a cure, but weighing the side effects against death...
Nothing. (This dessert ends in death and is not accompanied by anything else in Column B.)

All dishes served with a bowl of narcotics and vitamins to combat the side effects of the meal.

I'm not that hungry.

Before you say that out loud, consider the finality of death. What would you endure not to die?

Next, we will look into what you need to know before you decide how hungry you really are.

Trying each day,
Ann Marie

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Little pictures have big ears. -Archie Bunker

2010-05-13T06:58:00.000-04:00

Children: small human beings who delight and confound simultaneously.

Traveling the path of cancer treatment with children is strange and enlightening. There are pitfalls which (when you cannot avoid them altogether) you need to remedy quickly.

Unexpected Behavior

Depending on the age of your children, this includes everything from crying at the idea of a class assignment to refusing to participate in beloved activities. Identify the behavior tentatively. Do not assume the behavior is necessarily attached to the illness, but never assume it is not.

Doctor visits/Hospital stays

Children can easily deduct going to the doctor or hospital means Daddy is not going to be at home to do all the things he does with them. Be certain to reinforce the doctor and hospital are both to make Daddy feel better, so he can come home and spend time with them.

Let the doctor and the home health professionals talk to your children about how they are making Daddy feel better.

Medicinal Side Effects

When you get out the spoon and the cough medicine, expect a different type of lemon-sucking face. Daddy's medicine makes him sicker than your child perceives he is. Cancer is not easy to see, like a scraped knee. How the medicine works is a complete mystery, unlike a cast on a broken arm. It is not unusual for children to want to forgo their own medicines when they see a parent seem sicker after cancer medicines, especially chemotherapy/nausea & radiation/hair and weight loss.

Explain medicine like food in the stomach. Children understand food in the belly early. The medicine goes in and makes the "hungry" go out of the cancer.

Loss of Interaction

Daddy does not feel well enough to be out in the yard throwing the tug-o-war ropes for the dogs or sit and magna-doodle with them. Some days, Daddy cannot even endure the 300th airing of the Disney movie du jour. Be sure to arrange one-on-one time with each child. Do not point out this is replacing "Daddy time".

Questioning Faith

Perhaps one of the hardest struggles is answering the question, "Why is God doing this to Daddy?" Use your faith to answer honestly. God is not "doing this to Daddy". God is bringing Daddy to Heaven, so He can spend time with him. Tailor your response to your child's level of understanding.

Consider having your pastor talk to the child about this as well.

Money Concerns

Financial concerns are often attached to cancer treatment. This is one of the issues you can avoid. Choose to have these discussions while children are at school, out of the house or asleep and definitely out of earshot. This should apply to all families, even those not dealing with a catastropic illness.

You are absolutely not alone.

Do not for one second believe you have to shoulder all of the burden of coping with your child's issues with this disease. The more people you have helping you reinforces the extended family support your child needs right now.

Talk to teachers and guidance counselors. Talk to babysitters and day/after care centers. Talk to church family, especially Sunday school teachers and the pastor. Talk to neighbors. Talk to your child's friends' parents.

They should expect behavior changes. Be certain they know how YOU want them to deal with outbursts. When the time comes for one-on-one time, allow some of these responsible adults to take you child for special time.

Talk to the other parents in your cancer support group. They can help you identify other issues they may have had and how they dealt with them. Allowing children from the group to play or study together gives them the opportunity to talk about how they feel without feeling like they have to explain it to an adult. This peer counseling is healthy and important.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

Picture: Veronica on Russell's shoulders touching the ceiling after attaching Christmas decorations to the vaulted ceiling beam.

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Video Games!!!

2010-05-12T06:56:00.000-04:00

"How old are you?"

You have no idea how many times Russell asked me that before he figured out that I was just engaging in a distraction technique. Now, he tells me to go whack someone (in Mafia Wars).

While I am playing games, I am not thinking about anything except the motions of my hands and the images on the screen. Contemplate distraction...

No worrying.
No "what if".
No stress.

Is there a secret to it? Well, of course there is. If there weren't, your psychiatrist would have told you about it and lost his fee.

Choose a distraction which builds self-esteem or confidence, does not cause anxiety or stress and engages or (in my case) disengages your brain. Need some suggestions?

Video games where you play free style (no opponents or timers)
Meditation (sense of well being)
Exercise which does not cause pain (sense of self-confidence)
Hobbies, especially ones which craft a finished product (sense of accomplishment)
Visiting, especially someone who has no one else or is having a hard time (sense of perspective)
Reading
Driving with the window down or the sunroof open
Bathing, especially using aromatherapy
Massage or salon care
Journaling, blogging or writing
Pet care, brushing and petting

Need some things to avoid?

Eating, and cooking unless you are doing it for someone else
Drinking alcohol (It is a depressant.)
Narcotics, prescribed or illegal
Speeding
Visiting people who contribute to your anxiety or stress

If you are stressed, how are your children feeling? Remember, children (and pets) are very attuned to your stress level. Since they depend on you, take care of their mental health as well.

Schedule regular exercise and social activities for and with your children. Use stress relieving deep pressure or massage while you speak to them. Cuddle.

Play. Yes, strap on an eye patch and make yourself a cardboard sword (or grab a pool noodle) and live the pirate life with your children. Who cares how ridiculous you look? Your children do. They know to trust your guidance when THEY can relate to your inner child.

So, when you are tired of being an adult...stop.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with return to the mental time when the only thing you worried about was being caught (even before the forensic science boom) putting the muddy shoe prints on your mother's freshly mopped linoleum.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

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While the cat's away...

2010-05-12T06:54:00.000-04:00

...the mice scurry to prepare for the winter of despair.

And scurry I did:

Chores left undone beget sparkling surfaces.
Allergens became an indoor endangered species.
The bedroom was transformed into single space living quarters.
Memorabilia of a fonder time was posted at every corner.
Family portraits (my anniversary present) arrived and were proudly displayed.
Thank you notes purchased.
Funeral arrangements explored.
The telephone battery was worn dead each day. (Many thanks to all of those who listened, advised, prayed, cried, made me laugh and had the courage to change the subject.)
A million tears fell.
Emotions ran high.

I knew I needed to run the full gamut of emotions before Russell got home...then, I would have to be the strong one for everyone. Why? My role was going to change.

I would no longer be allowed to show my dread. You see, it is not fear. Those close to me know I have absolutely no fear, truly: NONE. I am so confident, at 20 I was declared DNR. (I inserted that link for a reason.)

I had to execute an intricate strategy to ensure the least amount of disruption for my family. For instance:

Plan how to explain to my pregnant daughter our first grandchild may not be born with a grandfather.
Plan how to encapsulate the epic battle with the South Carolina Department of Education (We will blog that later.) so as to prevent its intrusion into his more delicate times.
Plan how to procure another profession of faith. I could not bear thinking my husband would not enter the Kingdom of God.
Prepare all of the therapists and the school of the scheduling disaster area which was well on its way to becoming routine.
Comfort some of our care givers who would be party to Russell's illness.
Mentally prepare for the conversation of final wishes and wills.

How did I pull this off? I am not a miracle worker, but I have friends and family who are. I talked to those who are my dearest friends. I cried on the telephone with my mother and sisters. I prayed with everyone who would pray with me. I spoke to the pastors. I emailed my globe-spanning prayer chain. And I played a lot of video games.

Next time we will talk about the value of distractions...for everyone.

Ann Marie

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What a month can mean!

2010-05-12T06:52:00.000-04:00

January brought a PET scan to see the cancer activity in Russell's body.

Excuse me, I needed a break after that last sentence. The results were what most people commonly refer to as "devastating".

The four spots of mesothelioma had grown together and were encasing 80% of his right lung. This is a point from which there is no return. The pleura thickening was at nearly an inch. His right lung was at less than 30% capacity.

The adenocarinoma (frequently hereinafter called "the tumor") has destroyed another rib and was headed for a third in short order. This meant the cancer was leeching into the bone marrow. Another point from which there is no return.

Russell made the choice to undertake chemotherapy. He asked the doctor, "Are we talking months or years?"

With pain in his expression, our friend had to reply, "Months are closer." The tacit portion of that sentence was "to the weeks which are the appropriate answer to the question".

Immediately, we schedule the surgery to insert a port into his chest. Arm veins are not prepared for large amounts of poison. Routine outpatient surgery...oh, yeah, right.

Even this did not go as expected. He lack of oxygen provided recovery complications. His will prevailed. He kept his eye on the prize: A trip to New York to see his sister and his children.

Less than 48 hours later, I drove him to North Carolina to face his fear of flying. Practicing better living through pharmacology, he made the flight to NY. When he called me from the car on his way to his sister's home, he sounded like a little boy with a new toy. Family is the best holistic medicine.

The whole week was filled with family dinners and a little dining out. Loads of telephone calls and a lot of air cleared. Eyes wide open, he told me, "I hate that I have only come home to say, "Goodbye."

Let the chastising begin. "No, you are there to enjoy your family and make wonderful memories. Enjoy yourself or when you come home, I will beat you until I feel better." Knowing full well what my stress level was, he knew the beating would likely not be survivable, even for a healthy boxer.

As much fun as he had, he was glad to be home. I had stipulated he be home for my birthday. (Refer to last post for the reason why.)

Next, we will talk about how I spent the time he was in NY.

Until then,
Ann Marie

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Christmas Cancer?

2010-05-12T06:51:00.000-04:00

December is normally filled with Christmas decorating, indulgent baking, wrapping paper flurries and the occasional snowflake. Not this past December.

Russell was complaining of chest pain. Not the usual, "OMG, we HAVE TO go to the hospital," kind of chest pain...a dull, nagging pain. So, the battle of wills began. On a Friday, I told him: You have until tomorrow to get out of the bed and do something around the house or you are going to the hospital."

So, what do you think happened? That's right. He did not get up. On Saturday, he said (again), "I don't feel good enough to do anything;" to which I replied, "Then get in the car so I can take you to the hospital."

"I don't need you to take me anywhere. I'm a big boy;" (Let that sink in for a second...it only took me 2.4 nanoseconds.)

"Then, get in the truck and go to the hospital. If you cannot take care of yourself, I have to do it."

Now that he was painted into a man-ego corner, you guessed it...He went to the hospital. It was December 11th.

Six hours, two chest x-rays and a thoracic CT later, he came home with a pending diagnosis of mesothelioma (He was admitted as COPD.)

I went to the doctor alone to get the CT results. We got the oncology referral and set a date for needle biospy for the apparent adenocarcinoma (of the lung). The tumor had broken one rib under his shoulder blade. The pain he thought was in his chest was actually the tumor pushing his lung forward. The broken rib was destroyed along with most of the nerves.

Four growths of mesothelioma were present on his right lung. His pleura was thickened in all four places. Some places as thick as 1/2 inch. There were 8 affected lymph nodes. This was the pain he felt under his arm.

It was December 21st. I made the decision NOT to schedule the oncology appointment before Christmas. I chose December 29th instead. Russell speculated the reason the appointment was so far away was this would be his last Christmas, and the doctor (a close personal friend of ours) did not want to spoil our holiday. To a large degree, his speculation was warranted. I had told the doctor I was going to have a good Christmas with my family. Cancer be damned.

If I had it to do again, I would not change my behavior.

With the speculation in his hypochondriac mind, he focused on the little ones and the presents under the tree. He watched with childlike wonder as the piles of paper stacked up. He was busy extricating toys from adult-proof wrappers. He was in charge of battery placement. He learned to operate my new digital camera. He even enjoyed the dogs fascination with the whole affair. Russell enjoyed Christmas.

All I asked the prayer chain to pray for...peace in our house. The Lord listened. It was a joyous holiday like no other we have had.

Next time, we are going to discuss the whirlwind which can happen in thirty days.

Carrying on,
Ann Marie

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I am not lost...yet!

2010-05-12T06:46:00.002-04:00

My absence has been noted by many. Thank you for the emails and cards. For those who are new or may not have heard, my husband Russell has been diagnosed with cancer. Once this journey is complete, we will return to the investigation of schools for special needs children.

Russell is quite the anomaly. He is only 45, has never worked in a typically high risk field and has been diagnosed with mesothelioma. Additionally, he has an adenocarcinoma tumor on the back of his right lung.

This tumor has broken through two of his ribs. The cancers have spread to more than 15 surrounding lymph nodes.

As most of you do know, we have two autistic toddlers (four and five) at home. This has been particularly difficult for them to understand. Daddy cannot do things with them any more. He has an oxygen tube connecting him to the machine.

They understand not to play with Daddy's new things. I consider this quite a victory.

Over the next few posts, we will travel down the understanding of living with a diagnosis of death. While the prayer chain continues to deliver, the prognosis is grim shy an intervention from God.

I want to delve the physical, mental, familial and spiritual levels to living day-to-day with a devastating, white elephant in the living room.

Until next time,
Ann Marie

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IEP Investigation: Disability Education Training

2009-11-03T10:40:00.002-05:00

You have successfully investigated the child's ability and the classroom in preparation for your child's next IEP. Now, it is time to check the disability education training for the providers on your child's Individualized Education Plan: Administration, professionals and paraprofessionals.

Each special need or disability requires a unique approach education. It is upon this premise IEP are designed. Each state has a disabilities board which educates providers of all levels how to effectively educate special needs children.

Administration

Depending on where you live, you will have up to two administrators involved in your child's Individualized Education Plan (IEP). All schools will have a principal. Most schools will also have a curriculum coach. Since both will need to be aware of the unique special needs capabilities/limitations' effect on creation of IEP goals, both will need to be trained in your child's disability.

The most direct route is to ask the principal to provide certification of the latest training each has had in your child's disability. If the principal is not forthcoming after a second request, proceed to the school district superintendent in a written request. Reference your need for the information for an IEP meeting. All requests should have an expected compliance date of thirty (30) days. You are entitled to this information.

Certain disabilities make major advances in the methodology used to teach children in short periods of time. Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, cerebral palsy, dysgraphia, dyslexia, hearing deficits, spina bifida and many other disorders drastically change teaching methods as more is discovered about the abilities of the children with these disorders.

Therefore, current training is necessary. Ideally, administrator training should be every four years, but every six years has become the industry norm. Contact the state disabilities board to find out when the next trainings are scheduled for your child's disability and whether there is a time requirement your administrator has to meet.

If more than five years has transpired since the last training, request in writing the administrators attend a state-approved disabilities training provided through the disabilities board before the end of the school year. If such training is unavailable before the end of the school year, request training prior to the next school year.

Professionals

The core professionals in your child's IEP provider team are the special education teacher and specific therapists (speech, occupational and/or physical). Your child spends the most time with the special education teacher. Find out from the principal when the latest training was completed.

Ideally, training should be every three years. Average training across the United States is every five years. Parents must push the school to get the training for the special education teacher. Changes to the classroom are immediately noticeable after the training, even before the IEP meeting.

Therapists are often well within the three year ideal for disability training. Their specialty field licensing often depends on continuing education. The school district special needs representative should provide information on therapists training upon written request. In the event such information is not granted by the second request, request it from the school district superintendent.

The school psychologist often plays a role in social streaming. For this reason, the psychologist needs to know how your child's disability inhibits social interactions. Information about the psychologist's training can be gathered from the prinicpal or school district special needs representative.

Paraprofessionals

Guidance counselors and aides in the classroom may not have been trained in your child's disability. If you feel your child is hindered through this lack of training, schedule a conference with the principal to discuss scheduling training for them.

Classroom aides fall into three categories: retired special education teachers, those who wanted to be in the classroom without the pressure of being a teacher and those who specifically wanted to work closely with disabled children.

The first group has plenty of history and will quickly pick up on new techniques introduced by the special education teacher after a training. The second and third may or may not be as interested in the methodology of teaching as they are in the socialization of the children in the classroom. As a parent, you need to gauge whether your child would benefit from these aides being trained.

Guidance counselors play a smaller role in children's education than any other paraprofessional. If your child has frequent interaction with the guidance counselor or has an IEP accommodation for sessions with the guidance counselor, training may be appropriate. Discuss this with the principal and the guidance counselor. Ultimately, you must decide whether you want to push to have the counselor to attend disability training.

This final phase of the Investigation is the School District.

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IEP Investigation: Classroom

2009-10-31T13:32:00.003-04:00

After completing the child's ability investigation, the second part of the IEP investigation is the classroom. You will discover the resources, professionals and paraprofessionals available to the children and the amount of time in structured activities versus the individualized instruction time your child receives.

Resources

Each classroom is equipped with some standard items: desks or tables with child-sized chairs, chalk or dry erase boards, bulletin boards, calendars, globes, art supplies. Special education classrooms need other items as well:

Tactile teaching aids
Visual teaching aids
Communication aids
Physical accommodations
Auditory aids
Social skill teaching aids
Disability specific curricula materials

While your child may not need all of these materials, the last one on the list is mandatory for a successful IEP. You already know what the grade level curriculum expects. Now, the IEP goals must use the curriculum which will educate your child to the grade level requirements and is best suited to your child's disability and abilities.

Self-contained Classrooms

Certain disabilities offer self-contained classrooms where all students have the same disability. Arguments for and against these classrooms are not equal.

Arguments for self-contained classrooms favor the instructors. The curriculum is applied to the class in more structured activities than individualized time with students. Resources are located centrally, thus costing the school district less money. This practice allows for more instruction time to be spent documenting the work done.

Arguments against self-contained classrooms favor the students. Mixing children with different disabilities of varying capabilities offers all students the chance to learn from one another. They will inadvertently observe the instruction of other children and learn in the process.

Segregating single disabilities can stymie progress in certain areas, particularly speech and social interaction. Children whose disabilities include poor socialization skills need the outgoing nature of children who are not equally or more gravely disabled.

Peer pressure in a mixed environment is a positive influence. Children will naturally emulate the more advanced students. More advanced students will often empathize with their more disabled counterparts, taking on leadership and helping roles. Overall, this is the most widely accepted argument for mainstreaming all special education children for at least some part of their day.

Most poignantly, in mixed classes, instructors must spend more individual time with each student in order to meet IEP goals. Special needs parents use this argument most often.

Professionals

All of the great tools on the list are useless if there is not an instructor trained to teach your child how to use them. The professionals are the special needs teacher, speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist and psychologist.

Each school should have at least one of each of these professionals available to your child. If you are unsure if your child would benefit from one of these professionals in the school setting, ask your pediatrician to prescribe an evaluation to the school district. The school's professional will conduct an assessment to determine if your child meets the criteria for his grade level.

If he does, you will receive a report stating he does. This report may contain suggestions for you to pursue outside the school environment to help your child advance to stay on par with his peers. Discuss these suggestions with your pediatrician and a related, certified professional in the field who holds a minimum of a master's degree.

If he does not, you will receive a report stating he needs to be served by the school to address the areas in which he is deficit. When your child is receiving a school service, he should also be receiving a supplementary service from the private sector either in your home or in a clinical setting. The private therapist will create goals which will help him reach his IEP goals faster and/or will help you promulgate appropriate IEP goals.

Paraprofessionals

Paraprofessionals are the intermediaries between you and the professionals. Aides, curriculum coaches and guidance counselors are paraprofessionals.

Aides are the most important element to your child because they lower the student-teacher ratio. They can help your child with classroom activities, self-help skills and especially social skills. An aide is often your child's favorite person in the classroom. The aide will tend to place less pressure on your child, encouraging better results.

Curriculum coaches help keep you on track. By comparing IEP goals to grade level goals, the coach will keep your IEP goals high in your child's strength areas and reasonable where weaknesses arise. If this position does not exist in your school, employ the principal to play the role. As the school's administrator, she should have the complete knowledge of what is required.

Guidance counselors help both you and your child. Whether smoothing transitions, helping with social streaming or counseling you on behaviors which manifest during puberty or the IEP journey, the guidance counselor can give you information on how to help your child emotionally handle the changes.

Structured Activities

All classrooms have certain daily or weekly activities which all of the children do together. If the majority of the day is spent in structured group activity, begin asking important questions.

Which IEP goal does this activity pursue?
What progress toward my child's IEP goal has been made with this activity?
How long will this activity remain in the daily/weekly schedule before it is exchanged for another activity?
Can my child be scheduled for individual therapy during this activity, since it does not pursue an IEP goal?

Structured activities are a necessary part of the school day. They teach skills like sitting still, paying attention, being quiet, turn-taking and group participation. They do not provide the "I" of the Individualized Education Plan.

Individualized Time

Individualized time includes both therapies and instructional time in the classroom. How much time is being spent directly on the IEP goals for your child? Even though the only child you truly care about may be your own, there are other children in the class.

Of the time not spent in structured activity, is the remaining time split equally among the students?
Is the time productively pursuing IEP goals for your child?
Is time being wasted on goals already mastered?
Is the curriculum being followed?

Only the third question should be answered "no". If more than one "no" is answered, an IEP meeting is in order after a conference with the principal and the special education teacher.

The next portion of the Investigation is Disability Education Training.

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IEP Investigation: Child's Ability

2009-10-29T19:00:00.004-04:00

The most important person to consider when building an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) is the child. Whether the special need is a physical, mental or learning disability or a combination, an IEP which actually provides an education for him needs to be based on his abilities, capabilities and potential.

Personal Observation

You know more about your child than his doctor, his teacher, his therapist...anyone else. By now you know what is expected of him at school. It is up to you to give your insight to everyone else on the team as to what he can accomplish.

Gather Resources

Buy a composition book. The pages do not tear from the book. Each time you write in the book, date the entry. While you may be tempted to video tape some activities, a written record can be reproduced to become part of his permanent school records. Tapes can easily be lost, damaged or erased.

For one week, write down all of the things you child accomplishes. Did he climb the kitchen cabinet to get a treat from on top of the refrigerator? (motor and cognitive skills) Did he ask you for chocolate cake for lunch? (language and social skills) Did he let you have a turn kicking the soccer ball? (social and motor skills)

Over the next week, try out some of the activities you foresee putting into the IEP. Did he name two of the colors correctly? Did he match five? Did he spontaneously point out a color in a book you were reading?

All of these accomplishments show readiness for the skills he needs to master. Staple the page where he matched the colors into the book. You will need to show your child is prepared to be challenged rather than coddled.

Audit a Class

Take a day to go to school to see what he does in school. Write your observations in the book.

How is he interacting with other students?
How much individual time is he getting with the teacher?
Are the group activities aimed at satisfying his current (and/or future) IEP goals?

Your child will act differently in the school setting than he will at home. Be as unintrusive as possible in your observation of the class. You will see different strengths and weaknesses which present themselves only in the classroom.

Take a Day Off

Whether it is a day at the park, a trip to the zoo or simply a day care visit, being out of "his natural habitat" will produce a child you may not see that often. You will observe interests which can help you determine the best avenues for teachers to approach subjects to hold his attention. He may also excel in certain areas strictly by being exposed to a new environment.

Professional Observation

When negotiating IEP goals, therapists and paraprofessionals will give added weight to the opinions of professionals in their fields. Have your child seen by his speech pathologist, neurologist, gastroenterologist, orthopedic, audiologist and any other doctor or specialist treating him.

Bring your book when you go to the professional assessment. Your observations will be vital to the professional in accurately assessing your child beyond just the clinical observation which can be done during a regular appointment. Again, you are the primary resource the professional has in assessing your child.

Ask the professional to prepare a report with both progress and recommendations for integration of current therapy techniques into the educational classroom setting.

Assessments provided to the IEP team should be no more than six months old. Ideally, assessments should be one to three months old at the time of the IEP meeting.

Recommendations should be followed as closely as possible methods used to reach the goals. Often, recommendations from professionals will cross segments of the IEP presenting the possibility for more than one provider to help your child reach his goals.

You need to read the recommendations as well. Many of the recommendations can be implemented in your everyday experiences with your child. He will be no more the wiser you are helping him reach his goals!

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IEP: Special Ed. vs. Regular Ed.

2009-10-22T06:53:00.008-04:00

Did you do the homework?

WOW! Did you notice something immediately? OK, I am going to give you a break if you did not do the homework...

Regular Education
When you look at the curriculum for the regular education for your child's grade level, you will notice a few things. The first of which is the length.

The goals are broken into categories of language, science, social science and mathematics.

On average, there are between 300 and 500 goals for elementary school children and 1,200 to 1,500 goals for high school children.

Special Education
Individualized Education Plans (IEP) are divided into four major categories: Cognitive (intellectual skills), Social (adaptive and self-help skills), Motor (physical ability) and Language (speech and communication).

Based on where you live, IEP average ten (10) goals per section, with many children having no goals in areas where they need no special attention.

A-B=Where is the "education"?
If you are holding your child's IEP in one hand (A) and the grade curriculum in the other (B), a good IEP will be balanced. The IEP will have the same goals adapted to suit your child's disability.

When A-B is less than a desirable balance, it is time for you to do some investigating.

Areas of investigation
In order to give credit where it is justly deserved, most especially in your child, your investigation must include all of the following areas.

Child's ability

Personal observation at home, school and outside settings
Assessments and meetings with doctors, therapists and paraprofessionals

Classroom setting

Availability of resources
Availability of professionals and paraprofessionals
Structured activities vs. individualized education time

Level of disability education training

Administration (principal, curriculum coach)
Professionals (therapists, teachers, school psychologist)
Paraprofessionals (aides, guidance counselor)

School District

Availability and location of resources
Disability education training and/or awareness of board member serving school
Performance of supporting services (transportation, meal services)

We will tackle the investigation one step at a time over the next few posts to eliminate the majority of stumbling blocks to the successful IEP.

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George Chmiel: Leaving Wednesday

2009-10-19T21:34:00.005-04:00

George is leaving for Egypt on Wednesday morning! If you have not already been, stop by his blog and leave a comment. Show your support!

Share the story of George and his courageous run, not on the smooth paved road, but in the grueling sun-parched sands of the Sahara Desert.

That's right. 155 miles in temperatures as high as 140 degrees Fahrenheit. And he will be carrying his gear and a ration of water.

He will be able to take a break in the evening at the virtual oasis: a tent where runners can send word back to those of us feverishly waiting on word from them.

George has been training hard these last few weeks. Stop by and leave him a note wishing him well. And while you are there, why not take a minute to donate to the MAGIC Foundation?

After all, if George Chmiel can run across the Sahara for Luci...

What would you do to save a child?

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IEP: It really is a team effort.

2009-10-19T07:17:00.007-04:00

Over the next few posts, we are going to look in depth into the Individualized Education Plan (IEP) Process.

Today, we begin with the IEP Team.

The bare minimum for an IEP is:

Parent(s)
Principal
Special needs teacher
"Regular education" teacher
Special needs representative from the school district
Specialist(s) (Speech, occupation and/or physical therapist, psychologist)

Optional team members are:

Advocates (from state or county/parish agencies, disability organizations or charities)
Service Coordinator
Personal or in-home therapists

Each person should have input toward goals, progress and accommodations in his/her specific area of expertise.

When certain goals have been met and need to be changed, parents have the right to waive the presence of certain team members who are not involved in the particular goal. (**Personal note** I do not recommend this at any time. Keep reading to find out why.)

The Team Leader:
Despite what the onlooker without a special needs child may think, the team leader is the parent. Even though the specialists may have more education in a certain area, no one knows more about your child than you do.

By the time a child is five years old, parents have spent more time with him than a specialist will spend with special needs children in the entirety of her career, even if that career spans 45 years.

Your advocate may know more about "the process", but without your information, there is no "process". Think of the IEP as a blank computer program. Until you put in your child's information, progress, strengths and weaknesses, the program does nothing.

There is no "I" in "TEAM".
All members of the team need to be working toward the goals of your special needs child: not standardized tests scores to get school funds (NCLB), not number of special needs children seen (IDEA), not personal career statistics.

All members of the team should be pursuing all of the goals on the IEP. While some specialists will focus on certain parts of the IEP, they should not ignore the remaining goals on the IEP. All activities for special needs children can be adapted to satisfy two or more areas of the IEP (i.e. cognitive and social, social and language, cognitive, social and occupational, etc.).

This is why all members of the team should be present every time a goal is changed on the IEP. A change to one portion of the IEP may open a world of possibilities for another service provider for your special needs child.

IEP is not just for school.
Yes, the IEP is educational. After all, the "E" stands for "education". Do not leave the IEP in the hands of the school.

As a parent, you have taught your child all he knows. Nothing changes when he goes to school. YOU are still his first and best teacher. Ask your service coordinator, advocate and teachers for activities which you can do at home to help your child meet IEP goals.

Next post, we will explore the first stage of preparation for the IEP meeting.

For homework, check out your state's Department of Education website. Find the requirements for the "regular education" grade level for your child.

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Meet Luci: George Chmiel's Inspiration

2009-10-13T18:07:00.007-04:00

Here she is. Luci is George's inspiration in running across the Sahara.

She is a charming three-year-old who suffers from panhypopituitarism. It causes her hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, adrenal insufficiency, growth hormone deficiency and partial diabetes insipidus. Her little system is not strong enough to fight off a common cold. In spite of all of that, she loves to read and play with the family dog.

Jolie and Mike (Mommy and Daddy) have to give her medicine and injections everyday. And the frequent flier miles are accumulating between home and Texas Children's Hospital.

How do they do it? With the support of other families of children with growth disorders Luci they met through The MAGIC Foundation. Networking at the annual convention MAGIC holds in July. Meeting professionals who deal with growth disorders everyday and can provide accurate information and treatment.

The MAGIC Foundation is a501(c)(3) charity which operates on donations. Jolie and Mike host a "Walk for Luci" each fall to benefit MAGIC.

This year George Chmiel is going to run across the Sahara Desert to raise money and awareness for panhypopituitarism for MAGIC. And he leaves in five days. And this is where he is going:

Are you up for 155 miles across THAT? ^^^

George is tackling it after only running for two years. If he can do that, what can you do to help save a child? How about some ideas?

Stop by George's page on MAGIC and donate directly to the cause.
Pass this link to everyone you know who cares about children or has a special needs child.
Go to George and Luci's website to learn more and donate.
Join The MAGIC Foundation. Your membership will get special families the information and help they need for their special children.
Let your doctor know about The MAGIC Foundation. Let your clinic get the best information available to diagnose children properly.
Learn more about the disorders which affect children and are effectively treated with growth hormone.
Show your support by joining The MAGIC Foundation's cause on Facebook, inviting your friends and donating.

George is only $18,000 away from the total goal of $53,000. Would your employer or physician sponsor George or donate directly to MAGIC? Help support a champion.

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Never stop talking!

2009-10-12T10:04:00.005-04:00

We had an autism breakthrough this weekend!

We were on the way for a celebratory "Happy Birthday, Daddy!" breakfast at a local restaurant. Along the way, the road is lined with fields of horses and cattle, corn and pine trees, lakes and tractors. While his sister was busy pointing out the flora and the fauna, Nicholas was looking out her window at something entirely different.

He was listening to us talking to her as she pointed things out to us and watching like a tennis match between her and me as we talked. He wanted to play, too. As we passed a line of tanker cars parked on the railroad tracks alongside the road, Nicholas clearly said, "Train."

So, chalk up word number 18! Even if your child is non-verbal, you just keep talking. Talk about everything. Narrate everything you do. Identify everything you pass...even if all you pass is the cabinet, the bathtub and the rubber ducky.

While we do not have a locomotive to walk past at home, we do have a book we read regularly which identifies all the cars on the train. He may be acting like he is not paying attention all the time, but he is understanding.

So, keep reading. Read one book everyday for a week. For fun, read a second book your child picks out. Keep a record of what you read. You may just discover what interests your quiet little one!

No matter how old your child is, never give up on speech therapy and talking to your child. Even non-verbal children who successfully sign can learn to talk. I met a woman this weekend whose daughter began talking at eleven.

Celebrate and rejoice in every single utterance!

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What a finish line!

2009-10-06T13:44:00.004-04:00

Does this just not look like the most beautiful finish line for anyone? This is where George will cross the finish line in his race across the Sahara!

After 155 miles, seeing the pyramids rising out of the Giza plateau (and knowing it is not a mirage) has got to be a comforting thought. Let's hope it fills George with a renewed energy to push toward the finish line for Luci!

George is running to raise awareness and money for the MAGIC Foundation* and panhypopituitarism. Panhypopituitarism is a disorder which affects the pituitary gland: The master gland which tells the body to produce hormones like growth hormone, adrenaline and estrogen or testosterone. With panhypopituitarism, the pituitary gland does not send enough signals to the glands of the body to produce what is needed to grow, mature or even live.

Luci will need treatment for her entire life. Learn more about panhypopituitarism. George is running across the desert to get your attention. Let him know you are listening by joining the MAGIC Foundation and/or making a donation.

* The MAGIC Foundation is a 501(c)(3) organization. All donations are tax deductible.

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A stark contrast

2009-10-03T09:10:00.002-04:00

What a BEAUTIFUL morning on my mountain! The breeze is crisp, and the air is cool. (No, that's not my mountain. Read on!)

It makes me want to bottle it up so George can take it with him. I am sure he would love to open a bottle and have a sweet, cool breeze caress his face after running in THAT all day! --->

Did you know there were going to be about 150 others competing in the Sahara race? It is one of the legs of 4Deserts Series, which includes the Atacama Crossing (Chili), Gobi March (China) and the Last Desert (Antarctica).

George is going to have to carry his clothes, gear and his ration of water. As if 140 degrees, the blazing sun and sand were not enough, you read that right: ration of water. Participants are given equal portions of water to keep the race fair.

The race will feature a cyber tent so the participants can email and blog and send their results to friends and family around the world eagerly anticipating word of their progress.

If you have not already done it, you need to learn more about George, Luci and why he is willing to take on this grueling race. Amazing what one will do for the love of a child.

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What would you do to save a child?

2009-10-02T07:10:00.005-04:00

The time has come to turn a new page and begin a new adventure.

As most of you know, I spend an inordinate amount of time promoting non-profit organizations in their various endeavors to make our planet a better place. Now, I am making a commitment of a larger proportion.

I shared with you my personal story of choosing human growth hormone for our son. Now, I would like to share with you another, more touching, more courageous story.

George Chmiel is going to run (not walk) 155 miles across the Sahara desert. Let that monumental undertaking sink in for a moment. Why would anyone do that? You ask.

Luci Horvath. She is 3 years old. She has panhypopituitarism. All of the hormones produced by her pituitary gland are decreased, and the condition will last her whole life.

George is a family friend who saw the daily struggles of this family first hand. He wants the world to understand this rare disorder which affects Luci. To do just that, he is going to run across the Sahara Desert.

All of the money he is raising is going to the MAGIC Foundation*. MAGIC is the premiere authority on growth disorders affecting children.

So, I have to ask you...What would you do to save a child?

Charitably yours,
Ann Marie

*MAGIC Foundation is a 501(c)(3) charity. All donations to MAGIC Foundation are tax deductible.

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2009-07-01T13:13:00.003-04:00

I have enjoyed my time off since the completion of the new book. Taming the Terrible Twos: A Parents' Survival Guide was an adventure which revealed how much two-year-olds mirror, when it does not completely foretell the behavior of, teenagers.

T3, the affectionate name of the book, also took on the task of explaining some of the behaviors of older children and some colleagues. It offers tips and tricks for nutrition for picky eaters, enhancing speech, the benefits of schedules and routines, teaching responsibility, teaching second languages, the ever present need for discipline and the building of character.

The guest articles from Barbara Whitlock and editor John McDevitt gave the book interesting counterpoints. It was fun to find the wisdom of other parents who noticed the parallel between twos and teens.

The final chapter was named Parents' Successful Survival. Along with Barbara (mother of five), John (father of two and grandfather), Tina Hartley (mother of three and grandmother) and Melanie Denyer (mother of one) revealed four totally different images of how the terrible twos affect the lives of parents, siblings, grandparents and children.

Use the coupon "Facebook" to save on your copy of Taming the Terrible Twos.
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What's the catch?

2009-03-20T09:00:00.000-04:00

In the wake of record high gasoline prices in 2008, the automakers will introduce more hybrid and alternative fuel vehicles in 2009 than any other year. Before jumping on the bandwagon, know the pros and cons.

Gas/Electric Hybrids

Hybrids have gasoline engines with electric motors. The electric motors take over during city driving, allowing the gasoline engine to run less. Select hybrids also turn off cylinders not in use to reduce fuel consumption. Less gasoline is a definite pro.

Another pro is the limited carbon emissions. By burning less gasoline, the vehicles produce far less carbon dioxide than gasoline-only vehicles.

Cons include failure to meet mileage expectations and a very large price tag at the dealer. This is a double whammy: You will pay more for the car thinking it will save more money on gas, only to find out you are spending more on gasoline than originally promised.

Diesels

Diesels have gotten a "dirty" reputation from their European makers failure to met US emissions standards. As of 2008, diesels only represented four per cent of the cars on American roads. "Why?" is a good question. They routinely get 25 to 35 per cent better mileage than gasoline vehicles.

European auto manufacturers have successfully met the US emission standards. Research into bio-fuels are now producing diesel from plant and crop based oils. Researchers say they are only a few years from a bio-diesel using chicken fat. Be on the look out for more diesel cars.

Ethanol

Many models are designed to run on ethanol blended gasoline, since it burns cleaner and increases mileage, definite pro. Con for ethanol is it takes more energy to produce than it produces when it burns.

Ethanol was originally made of corn. Burning it in cars drove the food corn price through the roof. Research into substituting switchgrass and other cellulosic biomasses are not yet feasible.

Plug-in Electrics

The majority of auto manufacturers have been testing the technology of all electric cars, with Ford and Chevrolet producing concept cars. Saturn's 2010 model is the first of the production models to be offered for public sale. A complete departure from gasoline means minimal carbon emissions, inarguable pro.

The cons include expensive batteries and long battery charging times. One long term, far-reaching con is the possibility of overloading power grids. Arguers for all-electrics claim computers can modulate charge times for off-peak hours. They are not concerned with driver need times in this argument.

Hydrogen

As one of the best alternatives to gasoline engines, hydrogen fuel-cell vehicles are hitting the road in California. $20 worth of hydrogen can take a driver 270 miles with its 68 mpg estimate. It only emission: Water vapor. Big pros.

Cons: Very few fueling stations, fuel-cell costs, hydrogen handling regulations and safety, and the costs of hydrogen production.

Other

India is trying an air car. BMW is researching steam power over a century after steam cars went out of production. Hydraulics researchers are making headway in making heavyweight commercial vehicles more fuel efficient in heavy traffic.

Please credit this link if you quote this blog: http://www.helium.com/items/1358590

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Computer driven cars?

2009-03-19T09:00:00.000-04:00

Cars of today are safer in America than ever before. Are we moving toward computer-driven cars from the advances in computer-operated active safety features?

One of the top factors in choosing a new car is safety, according to J.D. Power's survey of new car buyers.

Manufacturer response to consumer demands and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) passenger protection mandates means safer cars for Americans.

Airbags
The current trend is adding more and smarter airbags. Even affordable sedans are offering a standard six airbags: Two front and four side curtain airbags. Luxury vehicles are doubling the effort with twelve.

New airbag offerings provide multi-stage deployment and passenger detection systems. In the event of a crash, airbags deploy only when a person occupies the seat and in stages for maximum injury protection.

NHTSA estimates airbags have saved nearly 22,500 lives since 1987.

Head restraints
Even lower speed crashes can produce whiplash-type head and neck injuries. Manufacturers offer most vehicles with active head restraints to prevent the backward motion of the head at impact.

While the Insurance Institute of Highway Safety (IIHS) reports quite a few models do not make their highest safety rating, the majority of American cars do.

Vehicle construction
The NHTSA has determined American vehicles have neared the safety ceiling for vehicle construction with the advances in alloys, crumple zones and modified cabin and roll cages.

Most vehicles introduced earn the highest safety rating offered by the NHTSA and IIHS. All vehicle safety construction changes have been made to obtain the NHTSA's five star rating and the IIHS's good rating.

Current research into roof construction will lead to a new NHTSA standard. The next frontier for vehicle safety is crash avoidance.

Vehicle stability
Under NHTSA mandate, all new vehicles must have electronic stability control by 2012. Computer-operated stability control could save as many as 10,000 lives per year and reduce single vehicle crashes by as much as 34 per cent.

Future technology
Since computers react faster than drivers, more active safety features rely on computers.

Lane departure warning systems are being added to some models for the NHTSA to research their efficacy before mandating their installation in all new vehicles.

More complex systems, like collision avoidance systems, are the first baby steps toward computer-driven cars. These vehicles anticipate crashes, close windows and sun roofs and preload brakes.

Slowing cars prior to impact reduces the severity of crashes. Closing of cabin openings, like sun roofs, increases the stability of the cabin, reducing injuries inside.

Read on to find out how these changes are making the safety ratings harder to attain and driving safer.

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Cold Weather Driving Safety

2009-03-18T09:00:00.000-04:00

With the cold weather back, please drive safely!

Winter driving safety is as easy as following the three "P"s.

~ Prepare

1. Prepare for the winter season. Maintain you car to perform in cold conditions. Check the battery, windshield wipers and tire tread. Put no-freeze windshield wiper fluid in the washer reservoir. Check your antifreeze.

2. Stock your car with essentials in the event of a breakdown, bad road conditions or an accident:

Flashlight Jumper cables Flares Sand or cat litter Ice scrapers and snow brush Shovel Blankets

While the first three should always be in your trunk, the last three are winter necessities. Sand or cat litter will help you gain traction should you find your car on an icy road or parking lot.

When your car stalls, put on the hazard lights, put out flares and put on the dome light. Make sure other motorists can see you.

Ice scrapers are a necessity for clearing the windshield. Remember, ice builds up while you are parked in a lot, so you need scrapers in the car. Snow flying off the hood can stick to the windshield and refreeze into ice. Brush it off.

If you could not control the skid and ended up in a snow bank, you will need to dig out your tires, hence the shovel. If your car is stopped, use the shovel to be sure the exhaust is clear so you can stay in the car and be warm.

You know the heater works, so why carry blankets? If you are in an accident or the car breaks down, you cannot guarantee your heater will work. In freezing weather, hypothermia can grip you in as little as fifteen minutes.

3. Plan your route. Avoid areas where accidents occur on clear days, as they will be particularly dangerous in wintry conditions. If you must go through these areas, be overly cautious.

Plan how long it will take to get there and add ten minutes. No one will fire you for being early.

Check the weather. On days of snow, allow an extra minute per mile to account for other drivers who may not be as winter driving savvy. Leave earlier for sleet.

Let someone know your route and when you should arrive. If you are late, they can call for help for you.

4. Practice winter driving. If this is your first winter, you are uncomfortable on winter roads or you are inexperienced, drive during daylight in an empty, snow-covered parking lot. Get a feel for the way you car reacts to the conditions.

Steer into a skid. Turn your wheels into the skid. Pump standards brakes or apply constant pressure to anti-lock brakes. Practicing what to do when you skid on ice will help you calmly react if you skid on the road.

Know braking distances. Cars are harder to stop on water, snow and ice. Test how far it takes you to stop the car.

~ Protect

Protect yourself by buckling your seat belt. Use child safety seats and restraints properly. Never place a rear-facing infant car seat in front of an air bag. Keep children under twelve in the backseat, buckled up.

~ Prevent

1. You are the number one person to prevent an accident. Never mix alcohol or drugs with driving. If you are planning to drink, designate a sober driver.

2. Slow down and increase the distance between your car and other drivers. Watch out for pedestrians and bicyclists. Share the road courteously.

3. Avoid fatigue. Get plenty of rest. If driving long distances, stop every three hours. When you can, alternate drivers.

Driving safety is the responsibility of all drivers. Driving safely in winter does not have to be difficult.

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A tree is just a tree?

2009-03-17T09:00:00.000-04:00

How important to the environment are trees really?

Air pollution destroys the atmosphere which protects the Earth. Trees "eat" pollution by taking the carbon dioxide out of the air, and then they "exhale" oxygen. Planting a tree can help prevent pollution as well.

What is atmosphere, and why is it important?

The atmosphere is composed of mostly nitrogen and oxygen. It acts like a security blanket around the Earth. The ratio of nitrogen to oxygen is the tightly woven fabric of the blanket.

The atmosphere traps radiant warmth from the sun's rays. It keeps the temperature of the planet stable and warm enough to support plant and animal life, yet cool enough to maintain water in the oceans.

How is the atmosphere damaged?

Many everyday activities produce air emissions: pollution. Even human breathing produces pollutants. Humans exhale carbon dioxide, after taking oxygen from the air. These pollutants damage the atmosphere.

Energy consumption, the burning of fuels such as coal, gasoline and diesel, removes oxygen to burn and replaces it with pollutants which collect beneath the atmosphere. The effect of this pollution is adding another blanket to the Earth. It increases the planet temperature and destroying the delicate nitrogen to oxygen balance.

Use of electricity causes air emissions which strip away portions of the atmosphere, essentially tearing holes the security blanket.

Why is planting trees great for the atmosphere?

By removing the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, trees remove the extra layers in the atmosphere which threaten Earth's temperature. By replacing the carbon dioxide with oxygen, trees restore the nitrogen to oxygen balance and ensure enough oxygen for animal breathing.

Where should trees be planted?

Trees planted along the Interstate highways help absorb the pollution of the traffic, but they help the atmosphere another way as well. Trees need to have their roots protected. The ring of mulch around the trees reduces the amount of grass that needs to be cut. Less fuel burned and less pollution result from less area being mowed with tractors, whose exhaust systems are not regulated for emissions.

Sidewalk trees are planted to beautify streets, but they are doing triple duty. They reduce the need to run pollution coughing lawn mowers and the pollution caused by the trucks which transport them. Add to that, sidewalk trees pull cigarette pollution out of the air from the sidewalk denizens.

Landscaping a yard with small trees and shrubs trims yard size. Trees make great shade for your home, reducing the need for cooling. Less energy used equals less air pollution produced.

Manufacturing and transporting fertilizer uses many forms of energy and produces many different air emissions and pollutants. Recycling the leaves which fall from trees in autumn into mulch makes the landscaped and native shrubs healthier. Healthy, flowering plants "eat" more pollution and "exhale" more oxygen.

Planting plots of trees helps regulate not only the amount of oxygen produced in an area, but also the wind pattern. By creating a large area to vacuum carbon dioxide and making a wind block, wind patterns change to accommodate the new obstacle and distribute the gases of the atmosphere equally.

Changing wind patterns can ease weather conditions, such as drought, or promote different weather conditions, like rain, which require nearly exact chemical balance to exist.

Planting trees is great for the atmosphere not only because they reduce existing pollution, but also because they prevent pollution.

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What does ethanol really cost?

2009-03-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

When everyone is looking for better fuel efficiency and cleaner burning energy, biofuel is quick to the attention of eco-conscious consumers. So how expensive is ethanol?

Bio-fuels seem to present a renewable resource alternate to fossil fuel. A closer examination of the costs of producing ethanol and biodiesel shows the true economic and ethical costs involved in choosing bio-fuel as a long term solution.

All of the following depend on fossil fuel to produce bio-fuel:

Hybridization of crops
Planting and irrigation
Fertilizer and pesticide
Harvesting
Grinding biomass
Transporting the crop
Production facility machinery

To gauge how efficient the bio-fuel alternative truly is, a joint study by Cornell and University of California -Berkeley determined that the energy output of both ethanol and biodiesel were not worth the effort of producing them.

Ethanol production from switch grass required 45 percent more energy than the resultant ethanol produced. This is the equivalent of spending $1.45 to buy a dollar.

Biodiesel produced from sunflower plants required 118 percent more energy than the biodiesel could produce. Would you spend $2.18 to buy a dollar?

These pitfalls are considered short-term shortfalls. As bio-fuel machinery becomes more widely available, the production costs will go down. Yet, the research into such machines is not likely to begin for more than another decade and only when the United States government decides which bio-fuel to endorse.

The long term pitfalls are more ominous. Ethanol and biodiesel do not burn as cleanly as burning biomass, pure wood or switch grass waste. The air emissions contribute to the greenhouse effect and further global warming.

Bio-fuels need a constant agricultural supply. To meet the United States need for liquid fuel, one of two scenarios present: 1. Residential property will be regulated to upward growth only (apartment dwelling). 2. Rural residential lands will be relegated to subsidized agriculture of biomass producing farms.

Both scenarios result in larger air pollutant emissions. The transportation of food contributes the second largest air pollutant emission in the United States. Multi-level housing creates traffic congestion and household emissions in higher concentration.

Additionally, the choice to use wood biomass to produce ethanol would result in fewer trees to protect the atmosphere, higher fossil fuel demand than even switch grass (12 percent) and increase prices of common wood based products. This price increase would impact industries that produce or use paper, cardboard, furniture, building supplies and wood as a fuel source.

So what does that mean for food prices, water and soil pollution, sustainability and fertility?

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Your car's carbon footprint=Big Foot?

2009-03-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

You recycle. You conserve water. You adjust your thermostat. You get in your car and go to work. There are five main areas where you can lower your car's carbon footprint: Shopping, errands, work, maintenance and driving. It starts with you.

If the number one way to reduce your impact on global warming was to drive less, how many excuses could you supply why you cannot drive less? How about some practical tips to help you not only drive less, but reduce your emissions when you have to drive?

Even if you cannot afford to trade your car for a more efficient, electric or hybrid model, you can do a lot to reduce the impact your vehicle has on the environment.

Shopping

1. Shop for frozen and dry groceries and household supplies once per month. Limit shopping for perishables to once per week, and then only on your way home from somewhere else. Save gas and money by planning ahead.

2. Shop for clothing, shoes, items for children, gifts and other items quarterly or bimonthly. These non-essentials should be planned to avoid prolonged or frequent driving.

3. Shop locally. This is more than going to the neighborhood market. Buy items produced locally as well. You have direct control over pollution caused by transporting goods over very long distances to get to you.

Errands

1. Go to the bank, post office, doctor's office and pharmacy on the same day. By plotting your itinerary to include at least three stops, you save gasoline, money and time while reducing your carbon emissions by as much as 70%.

2. Go with a friend. While not as efficient as carpooling, you can choose who has the most efficient vehicle and completely eliminate the emissions from the other. Best practice is to go everywhere with at least two other people.

3. Go on time. Schedule your errands so you will not rush. This leads to more considerate driving, better braking and less stress.

Work

1. Telecommute. Many companies offer choices in telecommuting. More offices are closing an additional day each week to save on overhead. Work from home one day, or more, per week.

2. Carpool. It is cool to carpool. Schedule meetings during your commute. Again, choose the most efficient car to get you and your colleagues to work on time.

3. Transfer. If you are commuting more than fifteen miles to work, consider a position closer to your home. When possible, work within walking distance of your home.

4. Move. If you are commuting more than fifty miles to work, you are losing money, time and breathable air. If you cannot move, transfer to a position closer to home.

5. Detour. If your commute is spent sitting in traffic, find a new route to work. If there is only one way, change your work hours to avoid standstills.

Grab ten more tips on how to reduce your car's impact on global warming.

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Still looking for proof?

2009-03-12T09:00:00.001-04:00

Ten convincing signs show global warming is affecting today's Earth. The "gloom and doom" is not something of concern for great-grandchildren as yet unborn. These major changes are the proverbial "tip of the iceberg".

10. Increased allergies. Lifestyle change and pollution leave more people vulnerable to seasonal allergies and asthma. Global warming temperature rises in combination with higher carbon dioxide levels trigger plants to bloom earlier. This increase in the amount of pollen, and its lingering longer in the air, aggravates allergies.

9. Wildlife migration. Beginning in the early 1900s, species have begun to move to higher elevations seeking their premium habitat. Global warming trends have sent chipmunks, mice and squirrels to higher elevations. Polar bears are moving closer and closer to the poles as their ice shelves melt due to the global increase in temperature.

8. Blooming Arctic? Ice, which normally holds tightly to Arctic plants, is melting earlier. Eager plants are enjoying longer growing seasons. Chlorophyll levels in today's Arctic are far higher than that of ancient Arctic soils.

7. Draining the lakes. Permafrost is frozen ground that makes the floor supporting Arctic lakes. As global temperatures rise, the permafrost melts. The lake water seeps through the ground, effectively draining the lake. Ecosystems based on the 125 already drained lakes are disappearing along with the water.

6. Sinks and slides As permafrost melts at higher altitudes, the ground shrinks unevenly based on its elemental make up. This leads to sink holes and damage to human structures, such as rail tracks, houses and roads. On the side of mountains, melted permafrost becomes rock and mud slides.

5. Evolution. With spring beginning earlier, hibernating animals face extinction faster than those who can reset their biological clocks. Migrating animals can move earlier, eat more food and reproduce earlier. Sleepy heads may miss out on the early food and their adolescents may not be mature enough to move come the cold of winter.

4. Speeding tickets? Carbon dioxide gives off heat when molecules collide in dense air near the Earth. Increased carbon dioxide molecules from emissions in the upper atmosphere, where the satellites live, radiate this heat away because they cannot collide as often because they force air lower into the atmosphere. This creates a cooling effect and erases the air's drag effect on the satellites. Less drag means the satellites speed up.

3. Taller mountains. Glaciers on the tops of mountains, like the Alps and the Himalayas, are heavy and push the mountains down. Global warming is melting these glaciers. Without the excess baggage, the mountains are growing faster, and the soil is springing back.

2. Lost wonders. Global warming's extreme weather and floods have already damaged some of the world's oldest artifacts that have stood the test of time, until recently. Ancient temples and settlements cannot survive these new changes. The original architects never could have planned for these changes in water levels and temperatures. 600 year old Sukhothai, the once capital of a Thai kingdom, has already fallen prey to a global warming flood.

1. Wildfire. Earlier snowmelt and warmer temperatures mean that drier areas, like the western United States, stay drier for longer. This long dry period increases the chances that a forest fire will break out and burn for longer.

These are only ten ways that global warming is effecting the Earth today. Without change in the current carbon dioxide emissions, these patterns will not only continue, but also intensify.

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Pollution Prevention: Individual Effort

2009-03-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

We've all heard about global warming and climate change and the Kyoto Accord, but have you seriously considered how your pollution is affecting the Earth? Over the next week, we will focus on some serious issues and some very simple steps each one of us can take to preserve the planet for our great-grandchildren and beyond.

What is the role of pollution prevention in addressing climate change?

CO2 and water vapor are the largest contributors to the greenhouse effect that regulates the Earth's temperature. The atmospheric blanket around the Earth absorbs the radiant energy released after absorption of the sun's rays. Pollution of the atmosphere directly impacts the temperature control of Earth.

Increased CO2 emissions create an extra layer of blanketing in the atmosphere. This extra warming leads to climate change in the forms of warmer oceans, melting ice caps and glaciers, more pronounced flooding and droughts, agricultural shifts in fertility, human migration and increased global temperature.

Human industrialization over the last 200 years has increased the CO2 in the atmosphere to 30% above the natural level of increase that should have occurred after the last ice age. The planet cannot compensate for this large a fluctuation in its natural chemistry.

The natural evolution of Earth would see increased growth of forests after volcanic activity, sinking and rising of islands and a gradual encroachment of the oceans onto the major land masses over the course of five to ten centuries. With the human acceleration of the warming process, these events are due to occur in a smaller time window.

At current levels of consumption and pollution this window will shrink to less than two hundred years. Pollution prevention is necessary to slow this progression to nominally increased levels rather than the drastically increased current level.

Over 50% of CO2 emissions are resultant from transportation and domestic energy use. Great strides toward industrial reduction of CO2 emissions are laudable, but only a small portion of the effort that needs to be implemented. Individual efforts to conserve energy and reduce transportation dependency are of paramount importance.

In the absence of such pollution reduction, the planetary temperature will continue to rise. As the oceans warm, they will expand further, engulfing low lying, industrializing nations and island communities. The change in the water to land mass ratio will affect the amount of water vapor in the air through accelerated evaporation of the oceans.

Droughts and floods will be more pronounced in areas prone to such weather conditions. This dual effect will compromise the fertility of agricultural land. Further, refugees from such areas will displace land currently regulated to agriculture and reduce current forestation levels for the development of housing.

Finite growth patterns mean that the forests cannot rebuild within the time frame necessary to perform their role in the reduction of CO2 in the atmosphere. Alternative solutions, such as the use of recycled steel, for housing construction must be employed to combat the decimation of the forests.

Deforestation will reduce the CO2 removed from the atmosphere. This completed cycle from increasing CO2 to reducing CO2 consumption will change the face of the Earth irrevocably. The hostile environment created will not be conducive to human existence and will hasten the next ice age.

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How safe is an efficient car?

2009-03-10T09:00:00.000-04:00

Wanted: A safe, American-built vehicle with excellent fuel efficiency in 2015.

While this does not sound like a tall request, American automakers have been joined by Oriental and European giants, like Toyota and Volkswagen, in proclaiming they cannot make such a vehicle with a consumer-friendly price tag.

Mandated fuel economy

Proposed Federal fuel economy regulations aims to speed up the schedule for producing fuel efficient cars to combat oil consumption and carbon emissions. Manufacturers are on a slower paced plan.

Since 1975, the Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) program have increased fuel economy in manufacturers' fleets to 27.5 miles per gallon (MPG). Current CAFE regulations are codified in United States Code Title 49, Sub. VI, Part C, Ch. 329. CAFE sets the fuel economy for each year, which increases annually 3.3 per cent.

The proposed amendment would increase that rate to 4.5 per cent. Passenger car and light truck MPG would be 31.6 by 2015.

Safety factor

Manufacturers are balking at the price tag for producing cars with this fuel efficiency. In order to preserve jobs and make a profit, they will need to price these cars above the reach of the average consumer.

No manufacturer has publicly commented it would sacrifice safety for fuel economy, although environmental impact statements (EIS) of current models profess body weight as the biggest deterrent to fuel economy.

Since 1950, manufacturers have striven to improve crashworthiness, the vehicle's ability to survive a crash with its occupants alive or unharmed. Internal safety advances include seat belts and air bags. While those do not impact fuel economy, advanced roll cages, the car's skeleton, are the heaviest components in the car. External advances included bumper systems and crumple zones. These have varied effects on the weight of the vehicle.

Uncrashworthy cars are a liability for owner and manufacturer. When cars do not survive crashes, occupants sue the owners of other vehicles and the auto maker who produced the unsafe car.

Practical fuel economy

Technological advances in fuel economy are the first attack in producing more fuel efficient cars. Manufacturers declare this avenue as exhausted: The engine cannot be more economical.

Aerodynamics are next. Vehicles have smoother lines to resist air drag. Consumers have rejected the most fuel efficient designs as undesirable, even though the cars are economical to drive and safer than most other designs.

There is an undeniable link between weight and crashworthiness. Will fuel economy standards lead to less crashworthy cars?

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What was your resolution?

2009-03-09T09:00:00.002-04:00

March has just begun, and already the majority of Americans cannot remember what they resolved to do this year...except to save more money. When thinking about saving green, going green (more specifically: Blue) is a terrific way to help you keep more money in your pocket. Would you like to save up to 25% of your water bill? Make some resolutions you can keep!

New Year's resolutions are easy to keep when you go green with some of these easy to implement environmental ideas.

Catch a bucket Place a bucket where it can catch rainwater. Use this to water your plants or wash your car instead of the hose. Recycled water is great-pour fish bowl water on your plants. Bathe the dog in the yard. Rinse dishes in 1/2 sink full of soapy water, then place in dishwasher. Use the water to wash the sink.

Sort it out Sorting your trash reaps big environmental rewards. Here are just a few statistics to help you keep the resolution:
* Composting vegetable waste makes natural fertilizer- reusing, reducing and recycling in one pile. This is better for the environment than a garbage disposal and requires no water.

* Sort all plastic out. Bottles, packing plastic and shopping bags are all recyclable and reduce production energy up to 67% and air pollution emissions more than 25%. Recycling one plastic bottle conserves enough energy to fuel a 60 watt light bulb for almost six hours.

* Crush those cans.
~~~Steel is the number one recycled material in the United States. Of the 100,000,000 steel and tin cans used in America everyday, enough cans are thrown away to build all of the cars in America.

~~~Make aluminum a contender: Recycling of one ton of cans will conserve 12,725 kilowatt hours, equal to the amount of the electricity used in the average American home in 10 years. This energy is the equivalent to 2,350 gallons of gasoline, or enough to drive a new car 82,250 miles. Recycling one saves enough gasoline to fill it half full.

* Read the paper online. Of the 62,000,000 newspapers printed today, 44,000,000 will be thrown away- 30,000,000 trees. Recycling one ton of paper conserves 4,077 kilowatt hours of energy or enough to heat and cool an average American home for 6 months.

* See through the waste. Recycling one glass bottle will light a 100 watt light bulb for 4 hours.

Turn it off Sleep mode requires energy. Turn off the computer, DVD, shredder, satellite converter, TiVo, lights, television, every appliance.

Down the drain
* Turn off the water while you brush your teeth (save more water than some humans get in a whole day), install low-flow shower heads, turn off the hose at the faucet. Turn off the water while you shampoo and condition- that's 50 gallons a week. Take a short shower- 5 minutes less will save about 1,000 gallons a year.

* Front loading washing machines: If you cannot afford one, wash only full loads of clothes. If you cannot do that, use the correct water height and the coldest water temperature. Line dry- uses less electricity and naturally humidifies the air.

Read on to find a way to burn some calories and save more water!

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Investing in Landscaping: Your wallet & the environment

2009-03-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

Grass seed. Check. Rake. Check. Sun hat. Check. I've already spent $200 and not planted a seed! Where's the return on my investment?

Landscaping is an investment in your home and the environment. Average landscaping increases the value of a home by five percent. Excellent landscaping can increase property value by as much as 11 percent.

Landscapes which reduce the cost of heating and cooling the home produce as much as an additional three percent increase in home value. Plants and trees combat carbon dioxide, while protecting the environment from additional carbon emissions from energy consumption. Non-flowering plants can reduce the number of allergens inside a home.

Two types of landscaping investments can increase the selling price of your home: Long term and short term. Both have some similarities. Each type is diversified differently.

Common Sense Advice

~ Hire a local professional to design the landscape. You will implement a design with a good survival rate, complementary to the surrounding neighborhood and with an eye for detail you may never have considered.

~ Ask for indigenous plants and trees. These are more likely to survive drought conditions and will require the least amount of upkeep.

~ Avoid high maintenance designs. Shrubs which need constant trimming will be very costly in the long run and could cost you more money in the short term. You do not want to hire someone to replant perennial flowers before you sell the house. A buyer may not want the bother or expense of a high maintenance yard.

~ Avoid trendy items. Water features and statues fall out of fashion quickly and may turn potential buyers away. Stay natural.

~ Use natural elevation and drainage to save water costs. Proper landscape design will reduce the amount of water needed to sustain a garden.

~ Plant evergreens on the north side of the home to block winter winds. Plant deciduous trees on the south side to shade the home in summer. Proper tree placement can save up to 25% of heating and cooling costs. The boost in energy efficiency will increase the value of the home.

~ Plant according to the mature size of the plant. Overcrowding plants decreases their survival rate and increases the maintenance work, as plants will need to be removed over time.

~ Protect your foundation. Planting large rooted trees and shrubs too near the house will have disastrous effects on your foundation, sidewalks and driveway.

~ Weed protection. Shop for inexpensive weed control barriers. This investment will reduce maintenance costs for the life of the landscape.

~ Mulch. Cover around and between plants...

Read the remaining long term and short term investment tips to make your landscaping a positive return for your wallet and the environment!

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Make my tax refund retirement

2009-03-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

Tax season is the second largest spending season of the year: Second only to winter holidays. Rather than spend the tax refund before you get it, think about the future. Need a step-by-step guide to retirement?

It is never too early to plan for retirement. The landscape of the world of retirement accounts changes as you reach retirement age. Tax benefits begin to disappear. Tax implications become more plentiful. Retirement is the practical application of "A penny saved is a penny earned."

Begin your road to retirement by exercising wise economic choices: Buy a house you can afford, spend wisely on cars, stay out of consumer debt and maintain a healthy credit report. All of these choices build big retirement muscles.

Set your retirement goals. Calculate your current yearly expenses, including utilities, property taxes, car expenses and food budget. Do not include your mortgage interest payment, but do include your principal. Double the total to estimate how much income you will need to retire. Multiply that by the number of years you will be retired. This will be your target savings amount.

Talk to an investment counselor for help in gauging your risk tolerance, income security, dividend reinvestment and portfolio aggressiveness.

I am 20. Is it too early to start saving?

You cannot start too early. The more you do now, the less you will need to do later.

Enroll in a 401(k) plan with your employer with matching contributions or begin a retirement account. Contribute the pre-tax maximum ($15,500) to your retirement. Learn to tailor your expenses to the money you bring home. You are learning to control money better.

401(k) is not enough. If you work thirty years contributing $15,500 per year, your nest egg before dividends will be $465,000. This may sound like a lot today, but when you retire, you will only have $31,000 per year to cover all of your expenses. How much did you need again?

Discuss with a financial adviser or investing consultant whether your needs will be best served with an individual retirement account (IRA), a mutual fund account or a stock portfolio or a combination.

Do not spend tax refunds. You lived without that money all year. Instead of spending it recklessly, invest the entire refund into your retirement. You will be saving more money than your employer is investing in your 401(k).

Assess your risk tolerance. How much are you willing to gamble with your investments? Consider higher risk investments with larger dividends to grow your money faster. At this age, you will be more resilient to market losses than you will in a few decades.

I am 30. Should I change what I am doing?

You are beginning to build equity in your home. How does this affect your saving?

Keep reading. The advice continues through age 60!

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Christmas shopping???

2009-03-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

What do taxes and holiday shopping have to do with one another? Stress. Before you get busy spending that tax refund, think ahead to how you got stressed last year. Avoid it this year.

Planning ahead is the key to avoiding financial holiday stress and the New Year's credit card hangover. If travel is in your holiday plan, conquer the shopping early. With three months left over, you will be able to leisurely plan a trip without going into debt or stressing the details.

Be done shopping by August. Perfectly doable with this strategy.

Do the math. Plan to spend 1% of your annual income on holiday spending. This money will not be spent totally on gifts. Decorations, cards, food, fuel expenses traveling to parties and incidentals will fall into this 1% as well.

On December 26, do not stand in line to return anything. If it does not fit, will it fit someone on your list? If it doesn't match, will it fit in one of your recipient's homes? If you don't like it, will someone on your list? "What list?" you ask.

Each year, impulse buying for last minute additions to recipient lists account for nearly 15% of all holiday spending. Eliminate this spending, by knowing ahead of time for whom you will purchase. Parents, children, grandchildren, partners and best friends make the list every year. If possible, pare the list to the bare minimum. Your boss' secretary's husband does not need a gift.

Group you recipients into these categories: Gift, food, craft and card. Cards, wrapping and craft supplies should be purchased at after holiday sales. Crafts should be completed by June, wrapped and put away. By wrapping the present and applying a tag with a name, you have officially crossed the name off of the list. Beside the name, you should place a the total cost of the gift, wrapping included.

Sign holiday cards while watching a Little League game or cheer leading practice. Sign only as many cards as you have names on your list for which you do not have an email address. Remaining cards should be boxed for another year. On average, cards need only be purchased three out of every four years.

November 28-30, make a personalized holiday newsletter on your computer to impart the year's accomplishments/joys and to send best wishes for the New Year. This should be added to the cards the first week of December and mailed. Save postage by sending your newsletter via email to as many recipients as possible. Make note on your list as to the postage paid on your list, along with the cost of the cards and stationery stock/ink to print your newsletters. Cross off those names.

Divide your gift recipients into seven groups. Shop for one group...

Don't be in the holiday cold and hung over (or overdrawn) in January. It's not too late to start today!

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Tax refund exploitation

2009-03-02T09:00:00.000-05:00

America has fallen for the instant tax refund. Are you being exploited? Yes. How?

The advent of the "instant tax refund" was designed to target low-income workers by H & R Block in the 1980s. The outline of the profitability of the program was very clear.

Traditionally, the users of tax preparers were high-income earners with complicated tax returns. 1984 saw the largest graduation of certified public accountants (CPA) in American history. Market research predicted that if tax preparation companies did not target a wider range of clientele, they would become obsolete within a decade, due solely to the glut of competition.

With a huge amount of venture capital, H & R Block launched the "Instant Tax Refund Loan", touting that users could have their checks in as little as three days. The focus of the ad campaign was young families with small children. Not one commercial featured a business suit.

Within three years, satellite "offices" cropped up in shopping malls, and the word "loan" disappeared. The instant tax return was born. Now, younger people and seniors joined the ad campaigns.

Traditional tax preparers, most notable being Jackson Hewitt, signed long term contracts with major retailers like J.C. Penney, Rent-a-Center and Wal-Mart to host their tax preparations. With access to break rooms, preparers were instructed to entice the employees, some of the lowest paid workers in the United States.

Retailers would take the next step and cash the checks in the knowledge that the holder would shop before leaving. This was no noble gesture on the part of tax preparers or retailers. The unprecedented success of the project was complete.

An army of attorneys had carefully drafted the contract between the earner and the preparer. Fine print included clauses of default and error: Should the return be reduced for any reason, notwithstanding preparer error or earner negligence, earner will be responsible for reimbursement of monies distributed and payment of all fees and interest thereon.

Translation: If the preparer makes an error that results in the earner not receiving a refund, the earner must repay the money, exorbitant interest and a handling fee for the error. Bear in mind that the check was not the actual tax refund, but only a loan against what the tax refund would have been.

So where is the $3 billion in profit? In interest and fees: Interest rates vary from an annual percentage rate of 70% to 1700%. The average prepared tax return is $2,000, with a fee of $250. 12% of all of the refunds are going into the pocket of the preparer and the lender.

The IRS states that the average income for 79% "instant refunds" is less than $35,000. 57% of those who got "instant refunds" filed for the earned income credit (EIC) which provides financial assistance to the working poor. Without a doubt, making $1.7 billion from the lowest paid workers in the country is truly designed to exploit.

References: National Consumer Law Center, Internal Revenue Service, Consumer Federation of America, Consumer Affairs, Attorney General for California, Attorney General for Illinois, Attorney General for Washington

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What is a medical diary?

2009-02-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

You've heard about medical diaries, but what really goes into a good one? While outlining what goes into a child's medical diary, you will soon see a pattern which can easily be applied to teens or adults with any medical or mental malady.

Keeping a child's medical diary will ensure that your child gets the proper medical attention in the fastest way by eliminating many avenues pursued in search of the best way.

The medical professional will have a complete history without compiling research from every doctor and hospital in your child's past. Why waste valuable time that could be the difference between life-saving measures and long term effects?

Preferred medical diaries will be bound editions that will not collect stray information or allow for information to be removed.

Begin with the basics
At birth your child begins to receive medical care. They will receive an APGAR score within sixty seconds of birth. Don't be surprised when he is five and his doctor asks you what it was.

Ask your nurse in the hospital to record his vital statistics at birth. The nurses will keep the diary in the nursery upon request. Include the following:

Place, time and date of birth
Hospital name
Attending pediatrician
Temperature
APGAR score
Audiogram result
Weight and length
Immunizations
Car seat test results (if given)
Tests and results

First trip home
Before the two week well-baby check up, note everything that you find. Much like a baby book, include any of the following:

Sleep pattern and total hours slept
Coughing or fever
Vomiting (not spit up during burping)
Excessive gas
Diarrhea
Date lost umbilical stump

Professional visits
Record everything from the first visit and all other professional visits that follow to doctor, dentist, nurse practitioner, psychologist, psychiatrist, orthopedic, dentist, optometrist or any specialist:

Doctor's full name, address and telephone number
Time and date of appointment
Vital statistics (blood pressure, oxygen saturation, temperature, weight, length)
All vaccines
Tests performed
Treatment received (fillings, glasses, hearing aids, orthotic devices)
Prescriptions (dosage, prescribing physician, pharmacy-with address and telephone number, pharmacist, prescription number)

Back at home
Over the next months and years, your child will change. Record everything that affects health, including the following:

First tooth (which one and date)
Loss of teeth (which one and date)
Fevers (temperature and duration)
Colds
Rashes (include diaper rash that occurs for more than 72 hours)
When and what new foods/juices are introduced
Changes in baby's reaction to light and sound
Childhood illnesses (chicken pox, measles)

Get the rest of the recipe for a great medical diary!

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Breastfeed in the closet?

2009-02-26T09:00:00.001-05:00

Having breastfed and used a bottle with our many children, I found the arguments why women should not "be allowed to breastfeed in public" astonishing. Enjoy this foray into why asking breastfeeding women to cloister themselves is equal to a human rights violation for both mother and child...as well as a look at why the "against" arguments are anatomically incorrect.

Segregation is equivalent to assigning a lower class ranking to breastfeeding mothers for choosing the best for their children.

Proponents of public breastfeeding stand on the time-tested argument of breast milk's natural and nutritionally unequalled content as the perfect food for babies delivered in the most convenient, natural way. Feeding directly from the breast is how all other mammals distribute milk.

Breastfeeding mothers are the largest proponents because they have more intimate knowledge than any other in the argument arena.

Breastfeeding desensitizes the breast. After nursing an infant, women are unlikely to receive any sexual stimulation from the breast. This is the natural maturation of the breast and the maternal reception of the nervous signals.

Prior to birth, the breast has not experienced nervous stimuli such as the let down reflex, correct latching or a baby's natural pecking signal. Once these signals are received for the first time, the breast interprets all other signals thereafter as prompts to perform or incidental contact to be ignored.

Societal taboo attached to an sexualized image is mistakenly associated with breastfeeding. Suckling the breast is not a sexual act for the mother.

Opponents believe the nipple covered by the baby's lips is vile, embarrassing, and cause for shame. Ironically, the nipple covered with a smaller amount of spandex is beautiful, sells products and is to be coveted.

These opponents do not take into consideration the function of the breast. In fact, the breast's main purpose is the nourishment of offspring. The secondary issue of bonding is the proximity of the breast to the mother's heartbeat. This anatomical design is of note.

And there is more...read on.

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No Disrespect from Children

2009-02-25T09:00:00.001-05:00

Did you raise a smart aleck? It is not necessarily a bad thing. When your child is not just sarcastic, but disrespectful, there is a problem.

Children talk back to adults, especially parents, disrespectfully when they feel authority is unjust, unreasonable or unfeeling. This ten step strategy for dealing with children's disrespectful back talk works like a charm.

1. Respect.

~Earn it, and then demand it from your children once you have it. Respect their right to an opinion by listening to what they have to say. Make it obvious that the reciprocal is expected.

2. Educate.

~Let your children know that there is a respectful way to voice opinion and dissent. Show them how to employ it by example. Rather than saying, "Your suggestion is stupid," try saying, "I think we need to reassess what you suggested because some of the foundation information is incorrect."

3. Enlighten.

~Show them how they react to being disrespectfully spoken to by speaking in like fashion. Show them how negativity cannot bring about a positive result. A video of their negative reaction is a better tool than parental acting skills, and far more persuasive

4. Discover.

~The source from which their disrespect springs. Is it an outside influence or you? Disrespect is most often a reaction to another's action, and negativity is contagious. Be objective in your own self-reflection because you may not see how your actions could cause disrespect. Repeat what you have said before a mirror for a good idea of how it sounded to them.

5. Restrict.

~Access to others who are disrespectful is counterproductive to having respectful children. Restrict that access. Negativity is contagious. Children and adults who are disrespectful to everyone as a reaction to being hurt by one person are not respectful influences on your children.

6. Question.

~Why has your child chosen that manner to speak to you? You have already self-reflected and looked at other sources. Go to the horse's mouth. Ask you child, point blank.

7. Listen.

~Your child will answer this question. Listen very carefully. Maintain eye contact. Sit in a receptive posture. Actively listen. Respond appropriately to what is said. Before you defend your position, be sure it is defensible.

8. Reverse.

~What will it take for your child to be more respectful? Ask your child. By respecting the fact that your child feels slighted, you show your willingness to help rectify the situation.

9. Help.

~Take your child's suggestions and incorporate them into your parenting style. This is the ultimate act of mutual respect. Provided your child provides a viable reason for being disrespectful, you can implement tactics like waiting two minutes before you respond to give him a chance to amend what he has said or making appointments to talk about matters once tempers have cooled.

10. Enjoy.

~Your respectful children will bring you joy. You have cultivated a mature and respectful relationship with your children. Most importantly, you have taught them how to build respectful relationships with others.

Caution: If you have not taken steps 1-3, you will definitely have to take 4-10. The first three tips will help you never have to determine a punishment for disrespectful children. They will not talk back to you or any other authority figure disrespectfully.

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No time to clean house?

2009-02-24T09:00:00.001-05:00

With more children than the old lady in the shoe, I can guarantee I don't have a ton of time to clean...and then again, the only thing domestic about me was I was born in this country. If cleaning is just not your bag or does not fit in your schedule, take these time-saving tips.

Busy moms do not have time to spend two or three hours a day cleaning. Pick up a few of these quick cleaning tips to make cleaning a breeze for busy families. Singles can learn these cleaning tricks before they pick up "dirty" habits!

Organize:

Have a cleaning station where all household cleaning items are kept. This can be under a sink (for those with older or no children), top shelf in the laundry (for the toddler stage) or in a carry-all in a closet (great teen-aged access).

If you have cleaning items you only use in one room, keep them organized together. Consider a carry-all or basket under the sink for bathroom-only cleaning supplies like toilet tabs and pads.

Schedule:

Clean bathrooms and bedrooms on Tuesdays & Fridays; Common areas Monday, Wednesday & Saturday; Laundry room & appliances on Sunday afternoon.

Make the carpet an everyday affair. Before you go to bed, all items need to be off the carpet. Share this duty. Children should pick up their own messes.

Cannot do it all? Break it into smaller parts. Stick to your schedule, and you don't get behind!

Make a chore chart. It helps keep track of progress and aids in delegating tasks to other family members.

Down Time:

While a machine does a task, do something else. Do you have five minutes? Clean the tub. Waiting for the dryer? Dust the living room. Dishes drying? Collect the garbage from around the house.

Everyday:

Simple tasks like making the bed go a long way to keeping your house clean. Clean as you go when you are cooking. If you take out a project, put it away as soon as you are finished. Adopt the rule that you are not finished until the mess is clean.

Mail:

It comes six days a week. Read it over the garbage can or paper shredder. Do it now. When you put mail down, it should be in the trash can/shredder, in a return envelope, filed for tax time or in your scheduler to be paid on the appropriate day. If you bank online, you reduce the amount of mail you get and have to throw away.

Dishes:

Empty the dishwasher in the morning. Fill it during the day. Run it when you go to bed. No shortage of hot water, it helps heat the house (if you use the heated dry cycle) and is ready in the morning with clean dishes. Good for the psyche: Wake up to no mess.

Laundry:

When you take it off, put it away. Hang up your coat when you come in the house. In stocking feet? Put shoes away. Time for bath? Put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. If it is clean, put it in the closet or dresser.

There is more, so read on....

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Flip that house!

2009-02-23T09:00:00.003-05:00

After buying and selling foreclosed homes to fund my early retirement, I have gathered a few tips anyone in the real estate market can use when looking for a cost effective solution to getting a home or making money providing homes for others.

Know how to turn a foreclosed home into cash? To borrow a quote from the stock market: Buy low. Sell high. Sounds simple, but let's arm you with some powerhouse weapons: Auctions, reaching potential home value, REO properties and knowing how to finance.

Foreclosures up for Auction

Not all auction foreclosures should have starred in "The Money Pit". Many are valuable. The trick is figuring out which is which. Start with an auction list. While online sellers will tout huge directories, start with the auctioneer. Auction houses provide bidders with the specifics from the owner, a lender who foreclosed on the property. But don't just take the lender's word for it.

Visit the Property

Some foreclosed property will not be accessible until the day of the auction, but the overwhelming majority will be opened for bidders prior to the auction. Take advantage. You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it. Don't bid on a house you have not seen inside and out, either.

Rarely, foreclosures can be inspected by a professional prior to the auction. Literature on the house will admit if an inspection has been made since the property was vacated.

Know what you are viewing. What should pipes under the house look like? What are the indicators a roof needs to be replaced? Can you tell if a wall has been patched? What are the signs of water damage? If you haven't seen an inspection in person, it is an educating experience.

Take Notes

You need to remember all the blemishes the house has to determine how much you are willing to pay for it and how much the house could potentially be worth at resale. This is how you determine on which houses you should bid. The equation for a winning house looks like this:

Your Maximum Bid + Taxes <>

What is my "Maximum Bid"?

The opening bid is up to ten per cent less than what is owed on the foreclosed home. This ensures the lender gets most of its money back. Since you want to make money, you cannot bid up to the actual value of the foreclosed home. Your maximum bid needs to be at least ten percent lower than the current value of the home.

Is that set in concrete?

No. Some distressed homes, ones which need a lot of repair, are actually worth more in the long run. For example, 123 Hickory Street is 1,600 square feet, four beds, two baths. It is valued at $36,000 because it has not been updated since the 1950s. It needs a new roof and the carpeting replaced. A few new windows would not hurt it.

Find rest of the answer and much more!

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2009-02-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

When a bird falls from the nest, sometimes it needs intervention.

Growing up, we children were constantly bringing in wounded birds. From sparrows to doves to owls, if we could catch, we brought it indoors.

Wear heavy gloves, preferably leather, which will cover your wrists before you pick the bird up. Take care that the bird does not break your skin. Depending on the bird's diet, it could expose you to viral health hazards.

The first thing to do is to put it in a cardboard box, sized according to the bird's wing span. We put in a shallow dish of water and one of millet. Millet is mild and all birds will eat it, including predatory birds. Cover the box with a towel. The darkness will trigger the bird to roost and be calm.

The next thing is call the university. The veterinary school is the best equipped to handle a wounded wild bird. Their facilities have more options than the average veterinarian's office. It is also a treat for the students to study a wild bird which has not been raised in captivity.

Discuss with the veterinary staff whether they feel that this bird will make a good pet before you decide that you want to come back and get it when it is well. Predatory birds do not make good pets, ever. Songbirds can make good pets, provided you have the space they will need. Migratory birds only make good pets if you live in the bird's winter home. They are unlike to survive the winters they flee.

If you leave the bird with the university, ask when they will release it. You can come on that day and wish your bird well!

This is an excerpt from a Helium.com article!

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2009-02-19T09:00:00.001-05:00

Creating beautiful art is as easy as dots or holes. Stippling dates back millenia. Want some easy to follow "how to"?

Stippling is the art of creating outlines or a picture using single dots. "Stipple" comes from the Latin word for pierce. Stippling takes two forms: pouncing and piercing.

Pouncing may be done with felt tipped pens (easiest), chalks and pastels (difficult) and super fine paint brushes (expert). To stipple by piercing is to use needles and pins through paper or brads and nails through metal.

Pouncing stippling is the most common form used today. When you choose your subject, begin by drawing the "line". The key to making lines is to space your dots close together and evenly. Touch your pen to the paper perpendicularly, creating one dot. To fill in the spaces between lines, create your dots with enough space between them to insert dots of other colors.

By using the combinations of the color wheel, you can create the illusion of blush on a cheek, the shine on a piece of fruit or the stripes in an animal's fur. By closely spacing dots of the same color, you can create the illusion that the space is completely filled. Remember, dots should never touch one another.

Be careful to make dots uniform in size when blending colors. Larger dots may be made in large blocks of color, but it will show much more of your medium and detract from the overall quality of the work.

Piercing stippling can be done in two different ways: tracing paper design and free hand. Both forms of piercing stippling will allow either color or light through the medium to show the design.

Check out the rest of the story!

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2009-02-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

Birth Control Pills Have Effects After Their Use Is Discontinued.

Understanding how birth control pills work helps to demonstrate the complications of infertility issues once their use is discontinued.

Many women are mistaken into thinking that the fertile month following discontinuation of the pills is a safe time for conception. Typically amenorrhea, failure to menstruate, occurs the month after discontinuing BCP, which mimics pregnancy.

The active ingredient in birth control pills, progestin, a synthetic hormone which mimics the natural hormone progesterone produced during pregnancy, interferes with the pituitary gland's signals to the ovaries. The pituitary gland recognizes the progestin in the body and stops the ovaries from producing enough estrogen to ovulate. This is the reason that, when taken properly, the birth control pill is 99% effective in preventing pregnancy.

Birth control pills interfere with the body's natural ability to assimilate certain nutrients, causing common deficiencies in the vitamins B6, B12, C and folic acid. These deficiencies directly affect fertility. Additionally, folic acid deficiency can lead to a toxic increase in vitamin A, which is a major contributor to birth defects.

Birth defects and abnormalities in babies conceived in the month after BCP are discontinued include, but are not limited to: heart, kidney, vertebrae, anus, esophagus, trachea and limbs.

Modifications of sexual organs, specifically the change from female to male, occur with three times more frequency. Blood bilirubin at increased levels and jaundice are reported in births where BCP were taken shortly before or after conception.

Anecdotal evidence has been presented that BCP may hasten menopause in women who take the pills for more than 15 years and that the quality of eggs is decreased; However, clinical trials have not produced the same effects.

Before taking birth control pills, consult a physician about the possible side effects with reference to later fertility, residual effects that could affect your baby and the lasting effects on your health.

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2009-02-17T09:00:00.000-05:00

Recycling is one of the staples of environmental awareness. But recycled toothbrushes?

A recycled toothbrush sounds disgusting until you look a little closer; and it is delivered; and you never have to remember replacing it; and it helps the environment. Let's look into one of the most innovative plans on the market.

Since the production of plastic consumes more oil than any other industry (yes, more than cars), recycling plastic is key to preserving our fragile environment and oil reserves. You ask, "But in my toothbrush?" Sure. Here's how:

The handle is 100% recycled polypropylene from bottles and other plastic recyclables. It has an angled head to produce superior cleaning results and bristles in your firmness. With seven colors to choose and both adult and youth sizes, you order a pack of four. You decide when your toothbrush will need to be replaced. A new one arrives with a postage prepaid (FREE!) return envelope for the used one.

By not breaking the recycling chain, Preserve products are offered at an excellent price, and even the packaging is made from recycled plastic. Add flavored toothpicks and a tongue cleaner, and you have an environmentally sound way to keep your teeth healthy, your breath fresh and the planet green! Their motto is "Preserve your health * Preserve the Earth".

Will someone else use my toothbrush? Yuck! No. The toothbrush is designed with plastic molded gripping rings. Unlike most marketed brushes, that use rubber for the grip that is not recycable, the Preserve toothbrush is 100% recyclable. The virgin nylon bristles and the recycled polypropylene handle are ground into plastic lumber. This is the plastic used for outdoor furniture and toys.

Get more information on why this is good for your teeth, your wallet and the environment! Check out where to find a green toothbrush!

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2009-02-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

Tires are the first line of defense for a driver and greatly affect fuel economy. Each of these indicators will let you know when to replace your tires.

1. Less than 7/32 of an inch of tread is left on the tire. Place a penny in the tread. The tread should reach past Lincoln's eyebrow.

2. You have exceeded the number of miles on the tire rating. Tires are rated to travel a finite number of miles as a maximum. Replace tires within 1,000 miles of the maximum rated mileage.

3. You can hear a rhythmic thump as you drive. This is often produced by a tire that is out of round, simply, has a hernia. The steel belting has been severed inside the tire, and the inner layer of rubber is placing pressure on the tread from the inside.

4. You develop a slow leak. If your tire pressure is low within a week of filling it to the correct pressure, you should have the tire checked. Punctures within 1 inch (25 mm) of the edge or in the side wall should never be repaired, as they can cause tire exposion during a blowout.

5. You develop a leak after placing a fixative tire inflater into your tire. If you tire is not at the correct pressure within one week of using a product, such as Fix-a-Flat or Re-Air, replace the tire because it is unable to be patched. The chemicals in the fixative keep the patch material from bonding properly to fix the tire.

Note: Americans will pay a fine for this tire, as after the fixative, it cannot be recycled by traditional methods.

5. You notice a wobbling in your steering. This is another sign that you may have a tire that is out of round.

Read the rest of the warning signs!

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2009-02-15T17:10:00.000-05:00

Thought about saving money on your driving expenses lately? Most everyone else has. Here is the compilation of the best practical tips from around the industry on how to save money on gasoline. Luckily, not one of them is "buy a hybrid".

Driving across town to get gasoline at a cheaper price defeats the purpose of saving money! You can get more gasoline for every dollar.

~ Only buy gasoline in the early morning while the ground is still cold.

As gasoline heats, it expands. Since all gas stations have their tanks underground, the colder the ground, the denser the gasoline is. While oil companies weigh gasoline for specific gravity, gas stations do not. Denser gasoline means that your gallon will actually be a full gallon.

~ Pump at the slowest flow rate.

Slowly pumping gas reduces the amount of fumes produced. EPA mandate requires all gas pumps have a vapor return which stops fumes from escaping. When you pump fast, the vapors (still gasoline) are vacuumed back into the gas station's tank and sold again to someone else. You are charged for what goes out the nozzle without getting credit for the gasoline that returns to the storage tank.

~ Keep your tank full.

Gasoline evaporates. The more air in your tank, the faster the gasoline evaporates and breaks down into poorly burning fuel. Lower temperature burning gasoline reduces fuel economy. By design, your tank backfills with air as you burn gasoline. When your gauge reaches half, get to a pump.

Gasoline storage tanks have a floating ceiling to keep zero atmosphere from touching the gasoline. With minimal exposure, the gasoline neither evaporates or degrades before it is trucked to gas stations. Oil companies take this measure to preserve their gasoline, so should you.

Read the rest of the tips and tricks...

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The Anti-eBay movement

2008-12-29T15:13:00.008-05:00

As the international auction giant eBay stumbles and falls, some of the sellers who have carried it on their backs are moving on to simpler, cheaper venues. Virginia's Dream is one of those sellers.

Check out the booths available on Bonanzle!

Check out one which is open for business! Virginia's Dream has a new booth!

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Teach Your Teen Wise Money Management Habits

2008-12-18T08:00:00.002-05:00

Learning about earning and paying is a lesson that cannot come too soon for a teenager. I have found the best way to teach money discipline was to open an account in "Bank Mom".

When my teens got their first jobs, they brought their checks to me. I "deposited" the money into their computer checking account. They wrote their withdrawals into a blank check register I had given them. I had explained how to balance a checkbook.

Every time they spent (had money from my wallet), I debited their accounts. Soon, they began to see the correlation between "movie money" and the hours that had to be worked to earn the money.

This was the most important part of the lesson. It opened their eyes to the money we spent on their behalf.

Their first NSF fees taught them that overdrawing is not only bad for the budget, but bad for their credit. "Bank Mom" does not pay interest (allowance) for 30 days after having an overdrawn accounts. "Bank Mom" also does not lend money to persons with overdrawn accounts.

One or two loans from their loan shark uncle (who is the same age and charges 100% interest, per week) taught them how expensive borrowing money could be.

By seventeen, it was time to try it for real. I gave them the option of checks with or without a debit card. The oldest wanted that debit card. After her first NSF fees, she cut the card into pieces that would slip through a strainer. She has sworn off credit cards of all types. Now she is content to write a check for her insurance and purchase postage stamps from change in her wallet to mail it on time.

Our next learned from her sister. She meticulously balanced her checkbook every time she wrote a check, and at the end of each page, ciphered with a calculator to be certain she had not made a mistake.

She now has her first credit card, but keeps a check register in her purse to balance her card after each purchase. She has already learned to keep 10% of her balance available for such things as annual fees, interest, insurance and finance charges.

Both have been bombarded with credit card offers and loan offers from various banks and finance companies. Fortunately for us, they have politely shredded such junk mail. Both have learned to manage money.

Like every lesson your child will learn, some will have to be learned the hard way. At the end of the day, knowing that they are keeping their credit safe helps us sleep better.

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Punishment for cyber crime

2008-12-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

Cyber crime never entered the minds of the founding fathers, yet its prevalence has far outpaced the laws that govern it. Virtual crime is not provable under most criminal statutes. So what should be done?

Crimes of theft are punishable according to the value of the items stolen and the violence of the manner in which they were stolen. Theft of information presents the cyber criminal with the perfect loophole. The defense argues that words have no value and sitting in front of a keyboard typing is not violent. The veracity of those statements can be disproved easily.

If the information had no value, why did the hacker take money for the information? If the act was not violent, why are the ramifications of the action devastating to the victims?

Intellectual property laws protect only work product such as research and creative endeavors. An address is not considered work product, and is not protected. So what of the hacker who steals addresses from jewelry stores and sells them to jewel thieves? They are guilty of the facilitation of a crime, should one be committed, yet their actions are not criminal in and of themselves.

To sew this loophole closed would not require the drafting of years' worth of new legislation, but instead the adaptation of existing laws in minute ways. Consider the addition of the verbiage "or any personal, medical, corporate or financial information" to the standard property theft laws. This would encompass nearly all current cyber theft crime.

Take away the water that the phisherman bait with enticing emails. Phishing is the same crime as attempted robbery, larceny or burglary. Dropping a few phisherman behind bars, with payment of restitution and fines required, would reduce the number of retirees and barely-computer-literates parting with pensions and savings. Current mail fraud statutes should be expanded with the inclusion of "or electronic means". Another seam in place.

Defense will argue then that the crime was not committed in the jurisdiction of the Court prosecuting the defendant. With the simple addition of the verbiage "against any person, persons or corporate entity within the jurisdiction" to the standard theft laws. Another hole disappears.

Extradition will be the last stumbling block left to the global community. Should not the contract of all whose access the Internet include a clause whereby the user agrees that such access will not be against the laws of the jurisdiction of the sites to which the user visits? These laws are beginning to look less like a net.

With the addition of cyber crime to the existing laws, hackers who would never dream of robbing a store will not dream of robbing a database. Punishments would be equal for cyber crime as they are for flesh and blood crime.

What of the victims? The United States has laws governing the dissemination of pornography to minors and laws that protect the victims that are lured off of the Internet into flesh and blood crime. What about the victims whose credit has been thrashed? Restoration of their credit is the least that can be done for these victims, but the restoration of their reputation cannot be accomplished. What of their hardship while they had not the credit to conduct their lives?

Interpol's adoption of these laws would enable jurisdictions to successfully prosecute the civil actions under these laws. NATO's endorsement of these laws would add more venom to the punishments. As a global community, it is high time that we act as one to protect our citizenry, regardless of location.

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Credit Scores: Fair or Unfair?

2008-12-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

To weigh the system of credit ratings, the simplest path is pros vs. cons. Let's look at some factors that do figure into the credit rating, and then the ironic ones that do not.

Pro (Expensive)
1. Those that carry credit balances with timely payments have a high score.

Con
1. Those who pay cash and never incur debt have a low score or no score.
2. Those who have credit, but choose not to use it have lower scores.

Pro (Myth)
2. High credit scores are indicative of credit worthiness.

Con
3. High credit score can be maintained while living paycheck to paycheck.
4. Annual earnings are not calculated into a credit score.

Pro (Myth)
3. Inquiries do not hurt your credit rating.

Con
5. More than 3 credit inquiries in six months, including comparison shopping for a loan, detracts from the credit score.
6. More than 6 inquiries within one year, including insurance and employment inquiries, detract from the credit score.

So far, the cons are outweighing the pros two-to-one. The fact is bared that the current calculation of credit scores hurts more innocent people than it helps. Here are some examples:

Cash and Carry
After spending the first 25 years of his life paying for everything he owned by saving and paying in full, John Creditseeker finds out that he does not qualify for a mortgage when he marries his college sweetheart. Despite his showing a substantial income and no debt, credit for the home will not be issued because the bank does not see his credit worthiness.

Catch 22
John's wife, Jill, applies for a credit card after the wedding to have in the event of an emergency. Jill is denied. Why? Like her love, she has always bought with her checkbook. Living within her means effectively does not make her a candidate for credit. How should she get credit, if she does not have any in the first place?

Mistakes happen...
Except at the credit bureau. To have negative information put onto a credit report requires a bill and a "debtor's" social security number. Removal of erroneous negative information requires an act of God. If a creditor misreports your address, it remains on your credit report permanently. Removing inaccurate personal information requires many affidavits. Ironically, the creditor did not have to jump through rings of fire to get the negativity there.

So what are the rewards of the credit system? Staying in debt, but timely paying interest will win you a great credit score. Are you scratching your head? Here's why.

Banks issue you credit. Banks pay the credit bureau for your credit report (profit). You pay interest to the bank (profit). If you pay off your credit before the bank makes back the money they spent on paperwork and your credit rating, your credit suffers...you are hurting their bottom line by protecting your own.

Although the credit report will list the last employer that someone else (not you) reported to them, no where in any of their equations is a variable to be filled with your salary.

By all measures, the only entities that benefit from the current credit rating systems are those who profit from it and those who pay to keep a high credit score (interest).

How fair can a credit rating calculation system be that never once considers your ability to pay? In a word: Not.

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Why Employers Check Credit Reports

2008-12-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

Most people find the idea of a potential employer checking their credit to determine job eligibility morally repugnant. Let's take a walk in the employer's shoes to understand.

An average corporation that screens potential employees shells out more than $1,000 before the applicant punches the clock the first time. Depending on the position, it can take as long as a year of productive service from the employee before this money is recouped. Just like every business, they want a return on the investment.

It should be obvious why drug screens are a determining factor in getting a job. Substances that alter the motor skills and judgment of an applicant can put that person, other people and property in danger. History bares that substance users were to blame for the majority of workman's compensation and corporate injury claims prior to pre-employment drug screening.

What is the harm in a credit report? Look at the history. Those with a disparate amount of debt to the potential income of the job will be in financial straits. This makes the employee more susceptible to opportunities to supplement his income. Do you see a red flag yet? Look more closely.

Employees with more than one job are more likely to be absent and tardy given their scheduling. This lost time represents lost productivity for the employer and insufficient return on their investment.

Potential employees may only have no criminal history because prior employers chose not to prosecute. People who are in debt or poor, even with a job, are more likely to steal than those that are comfortably living within their means. Even theft of company supplies represents a loss to the employer.

What about those with poor payments histories? That does not affect their professional skills, but it does testify to their ability to complete assignments. Debts are resultant of contracts where a service or product is provided with the promise of later payment. Potential employees who default on promises have a higher probability to fail to meet deadlines and expectations.

What about inquiries? If a potential employee has had multiple inquiries into her credit within six months of her application, the reasons for the inquiries are another red flag to a human resource director.

When applicants have attempted to obtain additional credit, many times it is indicative of a failure to steward their finances properly. This is more negatively punctuated when the credit is refused.

Applicants with many potential employer inquiries are a different risk. This person either does not stay on the job very long or has been such a poor candidate that he has not been chosen for other positions. Both instances are a warning to potential employers.

As an employer, would you trust someone who cannot manage her own finances to be in a position of responsibility that could negatively impact your finances?

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Identity Theft: Protect yourself at Home

2008-12-14T08:00:00.001-05:00

Much of what is thrown in the trash can point an identity thief's telescope into our lives. But you have the power to blacken the lens.

Junk mail, prescription bottles, receipts and packaging to products allow identity thieves a chance to pretend to be us. These are the primary steps to protecting your personal identity from thieves.

1. Shred or tear up junk mail. Credit card offers are the number one way that identity thieves pick their victims. Before tossing that offer into the trash, make it unusable to a thief. Dispose of half in the main trash can and half in the bathroom trash. This way it cannot be reassembled easily to use the telephone options.

2. Follow the Federal law when disposing of prescription bottles. Remove all labels from the bottles, destroy the labels and dispose of labels and bottles in different receptacles. This keeps the thieves from being able to access your medical records and commit fraud.

3. If not keeping receipts from the stores or the bank, shred them. The best practice to keeping thieves from gaining access to your identity is to keep receipts and file them. If throwing them away, shred them first.

4. Voided checks must have portions removed to prevent identity theft. Remove the name plate and shred. Remove bank name, security identifier (located above the date line), amount box, a portion of both the routing number and the account number, signature line and payee. Dispose of the pieces in separate locations so that the check may not be reassembled.

5. Expired credit cards should be cut into no less than four pieces. As with checks, dispose of the pieces separately.

6. If receiving narcotics or insulin from a mail order service, destroy the packing slip completely. Dispose of the shipping carton separately from the inner packing after removing and destroying the labels from both.

7. Detailed usage of telephone bills should be kept at least three years. When disposing of them before then, shred the bills into small enough pieces that they cannot be reassembled.

8. All receipts and bills from loans should be kept for at least three years and destroyed before disposal.

9. All explanations of benefits (EOB) should not be disposed in trash intact. Separate identifying information from the body of the EOB prior to placing in trash.

10. Credit reports should be shredded when no longer of use.

If you feel you have not been able to sufficiently destroy or shred papers before their disposal, pour ammonia into the trash. Ammonia will react with most all vegetable inks and make them unreadable and unusable.

Don't let your trash can be a treasure chest for identity thieves.

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Identity Theft: Protect your Children

2008-12-12T08:00:00.001-05:00

Protecting your child from identity theft is even simpler than protecting yourself. With a few basic precautions, your child can be assured that at 18, a clean credit slate will await.

1. Do not have the child's full name printed in the birth announcement. Make sure that the hospital announcement also does not include the middle names of the parents or the birthplace of either parent.

Identity thieves will often trawl newspapers for names of infants. Within three months of getting the name, they will apply for a replacement social security card for the child. Once they receive it, thieves are off to the proverbial races racking up debt in the child's name. Although this method proves more often than not difficult for the thieves, one success in fifty tries makes it worthwhile.

2. Do not copy your child's social security card or birth certificate. Never scan either of these documents and store them on your computer's hard drive. Worm thieves can get these documents while you surf the Internet.

If someone needs to see the card or the certificate, bring it in person. Do not allow them to copy the documents either. Most states have laws prohibiting the unauthorized copying of birth records. If an agency needs a copy, procure and present a certified copy from the Bureau of Vital Statistics in your state.

Federal law prohibits the copying of a Social Security card under any circumstance. Inform whomever believes that they need a copy that they may not have one.

3. Do not carry your child's identification in your wallet. Purse snatchers and pick pockets sell the identification to identity thieves. If you are going to a place where you will need your child's identification, transport it in the glove compartment and walk it inside in an envelope.

4. Store all of your child's identification in a fireproof box in your home. Home invasion theft of fireboxes is on a decline in the United States. To lower your risk, place the box in a kitchen or utility room cabinet where a thief is unlike to look for anything of value to steal.

5. Do not give out your child's Social Security number without knowing in advance: A. Why you must supply the number. B. How will the number be protected. C. When will the record of the number be destroyed. D. How many people will have access to the number. E. How will you be notified in the event of an information breach. If you feel that this is a legitimate need, and that they have answered your questions sufficiently, you may transmit the information verbally.

Be aware that health insurance companies prefer to have the social security number of the patient. Doctor's offices will ask for the information as well. Doctors collect this information to report non-payment only. You do not have to give your child's number to either. As the responsible party for the transaction, they may use yours to record any payment issues.

Most medical non-payment reporting is done on a patient basis. If the doctor's office has your child's Social Security number, the likelihood that your child's credit may suffer for any late payment you may make is more than tripled.

You have the ability to help secure your child from identity theft. Don't be afraid to exercise your rights.

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Prevent Online Identity Theft: The Basics

2008-12-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

From phishing to pharming, the Internet is a hotbed rife with cyber-crime that nets more than drug trafficking: US$105,000,000,000. Try these easy steps to protect yourself from identity theft.

Personal Information
Never give your personal identity information online except to actual (flesh and blood, not virtual) friends.

If you trust your vendor, you may choose to share. Always opt out of optional mailings when you do, though. This information could pass to a third party without the vendor's knowledge or your consent.

Separate Email
Use separate email addresses for personal exchanges (like correspondence with actual friends) and shopping. Always use your non-personal email to sign up for services.

Public Sites
Avoid posting on news groups, social networks or other public sites. A public site is one with 100% free access and generally has no moderation.

Email Attachments
Do not open or run email attachments you did not expect to get or were not sent by a person you actually know.

Password Strength
Increase password security by using more than six characters, never using real words or common abbreviations and incorporating capital letters, numbers and allowable punctuation. A good password example is "R5jm2&Wq67g".

Never give your password to anyone or write it down.

Financial Information
Never give financial information in pop-up windows, instant messages or emails. Never click links inside them. Instead, go directly to the site with your browser to sign in or call the customer service telephone number provided by the legitimate site, not the missives, to verify any requests for information.

Payment Services
Use a third party payment service. The most popular and trusted are PayPal, Google Checkout and Amazon Payments. These companies hide financial information from vendors.

Secure Websites
Use secure websites with "https:" at the beginning of the URL. They will display a padlock icon in your web browser's frame. Be warned: The lock can be counterfeited.

Receiving Email
Know your sender's email address. Be very suspicious of generically addressed email and dubious addresses. Legitimate emails will contain your user name and the appropriate website identification. They will come from only one email address, which will be supplied to you by the website.

Save It
Back up all important files. Never store copies of identifying documents or personal identification on your hard drive.

Security Software
Install an anti-virus, anti-spyware program and network firewall for added protection, especially for all computers with operating systems prior to Microsoft Windows XP service pack 2. Update these programs regularly. This means every 25 times you access the Internet.

The best defense is a good offense. Keep your guard up. With cyber-crime, there is no such thing as "too careful". Parents may be the "anti-drug", but you are your own "anti-electronic identity theft device".

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Homeowner's Insurance and Identity Theft

2008-12-10T08:00:00.001-05:00

Homeowner's insurance does not cover identity theft until you add coverage, an endorsement or rider to your policy.

According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), nearly nine million Americans fall prey to identity theft each year. The average victim must spend $1,200 and 175 hours to undo the damage. The FTC promotes a program called "Deter. Detect. Defend." You must deter and detect, but you can use your homeowner's insurance to defend.

Identify theft homeowner's insurance can help if your identity is stolen by reimbursing you for costs you incur repairing the damage. Costs can include long distance telephone bills, mailing costs, pre-approved legal fees and lost wages. Most policies, however, do not cover against financial loss and only reimburse you for money you have already spent.

At $25 to $99, identity theft homeowner's insurance is not particularly expensive. Each policy varies by company. Read the exclusions to understand precisely what the policy will cover.

What do identity theft homeowner's insurance policies usually cover?

Reimbursable expenses: Policies will routinely cover expenses to repair the damage to your credit if your identity is stolen. It will reimburse for reapplication fees for denied loans, credit report fees, notary fees, document replacement costs, mailing costs and long distance telephone calls to credit bureaus, financial institutions and credit bureaus.

Attorneys fees: When it becomes necessary to hire an attorney, most policies require the legal fees to be pre-approved and provided by a contracted attorney. Know in advance if your policy covers attorney's fees. Some policies will not cover an attorney.

Lost wages: To recover from identity theft takes time. The agencies and companies you will contact will likely need to speak to you when you would normally be at work. Employers do not pay for you to take care of personal business. When possible, get a identity theft homeowner's insurance policy which will reimburse you for lost wages.

What does identity theft homeowner's insurance not cover?

Financial loss: Insurance companies expect the financial institutions and credit card companies to recover the financial losses when identity thieves incur fraudulent charges.

Late and over limit fees: Credit card companies are expected to remove these fees when presented with evidence of identity theft.

NSF charges: Banks are expected to remove non-sufficient funds charges from accounts which have been fraudulently opened or emptied.

Upfront expenses: You have to pay and provide receipts for your expenses without reimbursement until after your deductible is met. Insurance will not pay upfront for expenses.

What do I need to know?

Deductible: Choose a low deductible. The FTC reports in the majority of cases individuals spend less than $500 in covered expenses. Make sure the deductible is low.

Coverage: Find out what you will need to restore your credit. Make sure you have enough coverage for your expenses.

Overlap: Find out what losses are not covered. Your credit card provider and bank have coverages for certain thefts. You will not be reimbursed for your expenses if their insurance overs the loss.

Do I need identity theft homeowner's insurance?

While everyone is a potential identity theft victim, some are at higher risk. Those who make more than $150,000 per year, who make less than $15,000 and between 18 and 29 suffer the greatest losses from identity theft and are at the greatest risk.

High income earners have and use more credit, giving more opportunities to identity thieves. Low income earners are not able to afford to repair their credit, which prolongs the financial suffering. College students and young adults are least likely to take appropriate measures to protect their identities, such as shredding personal information and maintaining adequate online safeguards to protect their identities.

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What do I need to know about homeowners insurance?

2008-12-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Homeowner's insurance is a necessity and mandatory for most homeowners. It will automatically cover the home against fire, theft and most natural disasters, but there are important exceptions. Choose the correct coverage for homeowner's insurance to protect your largest investment.

Dwelling: Covering your actual home is the basic protection of homeowner's insurance. To adequately cover your dwelling, experts suggest a minimum of 125% of the cost of your home. Although your home may be worth $100,000, to rebuild it in the event of a fire is likely to cost more. This disparity is called "replacement cost".

Outbuildings: Do you have a detached garage or workshop? Unless specifically covered, homeowner's insurance does not consider outbuildings part of your dwelling. Without an outbuilding rider, an exception or addition to your policy, these buildings and their contents will not be covered even if the dwelling is.

Personal Property: The rider for personal property is also called "content" insurance because it covers your personal belongings inside the insured home. While this covers furniture, clothing, sundries and household goods (like cookware), limitations apply which require additional riders. Computers, electronics, art, jewelry and home office equipment will have a coverage limit.

Liability and Family Liability: If someone else is hurt or their property lost or damaged because of a covered event, this homeowner's insurance feature covers the expenses you would legally be obligated to pay. You have a house fire, and the neighbor's car is damaged by the fire. This coverage will replace your neighbor's car, if you have sufficient coverage. It will not cover auto accidents.

Personal Medical: When someone has an accident on your property, you are liable for their medical expenses. Homeowner's insurance covers a portion of those expenses. Be certain to have enough personal medical coverage to pay for common accidents, like trips and falls. It does not cover medical expenses arising from an auto accident.

While the coverages above are standards choices when choosing homeowner's insurance, the following are not. These coverages are in addition to your policy.

Extended personal property: These riders will cover your belongings when you own more than the standard coverage amount. Consider buying additional coverage if you have an extended art collection, expensive jewelry, home theater system, designer kitchen, several computer systems or memorabilia collections, which cannot be replaced with the standard personal property coverage.

Business riders: Do you have a home office? Homeowner's insurance does not cover home offices without a rider. Protect your computer, fax machine and office equipment and supplies.

Portable electronics: This homeowner's insurance rider is offered by some insurers to cover items like cell phones, portable fax machines and laptop computers which you will take away from your home.

Identity theft: Identity theft threatens your ability to pay for your home. Homeowner's insurance companies recognize this. Identity theft protection covers losses through credit card fraud, unauthorized loans and other forms of identity theft.

Flood insurance: Floods are not covered by homeowner's insurance. Homes in flood plains often are not eligible for this rider. Homes off a flood plain are normally eligible against flash floods, water damage from broken public water sources and other floods. Check with your local zoning office and insurer to see if you qualify for flood insurance.

Once you've chosen coverage, get the correct deductible for your policy. You will have to spend the deductible amount if you have a claim. Choose a deductible you will be able to pay out of pocket.

Do shop around for rates. Companies vary on reputation, coverages, rates and exlusions. Read the policy before you sign to know exactly what is covered by your homeowner's insurance and what is not.

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Rural America copes with food prices

2008-12-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

Kershaw, October 3 (One World) Rural America is making tough decisions in the face of rising food costs. Choices include where to buy, what and when to eat and whether to eat at all.

Known for homegrown vegetables and farmer's markets, rural towns like Kershaw, South Carolina, are returning to their farming roots. Independent Grocer's Association (IGA) Foodliner is changing the way it buys produce for it customers.

Rather than relying on regional corporate suppliers, the grocery store is buying produce locally to offer affordable foods. Foodliner's manager says, "We have to offer local produce to lower costs to keep from throwing away the food we cannot sell."

Luxury food items, like higher priced cuts of meat and seafood, are not selling as well as they did last year. On the other hand, less expensive alternatives are selling out. Canned tuna, potted meats and beans are selling faster than ever before. Residents are looking for cost effective alternatives to fresh meats.

He could not state how much the change in his sales can be credited to gas prices. "I know I am seeing some people who used to shop out of town. Now, they can't afford the gas to drive that far."

In the local newspaper, The Kershaw News-Era, ads for farm animals have doubled in the last three months. Breeders are advertising goats, chickens, pigs and cattle as a food source rather than as pets.

Turkey and poultry farm owners are answering local demand for immediate access to products. To cut shipping costs, farms are selling packaged poultry and eggs at the processing plants directly to the public.

Handmade signs line the residential roads advertising fresh fruits and vegetables for sale. Local residents allow anyone to stop and buy their home-grown wares. In the past, these foods would have been canned and given to friends and family.

Today, families are selling these foods to make ends meet. They cannot afford to give any away. Some gardeners gather on vacant corners of crossroads with ice chests filled with vegetables for sale. One lifelong seller says, "This used to be a hobby. Now, I need the money to put food on my own table."

Family Feed & Seed is seeing more sales this summer in seeds and nursery plants. The owner, Mark Rosengrant says, "When the plant is a dollar and one tomato is a dollar, no wonder everyone wants plants." Rosengrant says that he sees more new faces every week looking for a way to save money at the grocery store.

Kershaw Area Resource Exchange (KARE) has begun opening its doors three times per week to meet the community needs. The KARE food bank distributes three times more food stores than its previous high since opening its doors.

KARE director, Mike Hilton says, "With the rising costs of gas, energy and food, more families need our help to feed their children." Hilton says that families need monetary help because they are making choices to pay bills or buy food since they cannot afford to do both.

One KARE recipient says, "I need food for my kids. I paid the electric bill so they wouldn't turn it off. If I go hungry, that's one thing, but I have to feed my kids."

Another came on behalf of her 86 year old mother. "Mama can't keep the lights on, go to the doctor and buy food. At least [KARE] will give her some food."

The change in food spending is evident in the health changes of the community. At-risk senior citizens are being treated more often at Sentinel Health Partners for ailments like shingles, anemia and malnutrition. Influenza is expected to be a larger concern this year based on nutrition-related immune deficiencies.

Adult residents are losing weight. One of the clinic doctors says, "It is not a conscious decision for most of these folks. They simply don't have as much to eat."

Children are not growing at the same rate. The doctor attributes this to smaller portions at the dinner table. "It is hard to get parents to admit that their children are not getting enough to eat."

School cafeteria worker, speaking on condition of anonymity, says, "The children eat all their lunch no matter what we serve. Even the picky eaters are cleaning their plates." This could be considered a benefit: Children are receiving and eating a balanced meal at least once per day.

The elementary schools report that more children are eating breakfast at school. Parents have weighed the cost of school breakfast versus buying and preparing the food themselves. School breakfast is cheaper.

Area restaurants do not win the same battle. Fewer people are dining out. The average cost for a family of four to eat at a restaurant is $38.00. A well-budgeted, balanced meal for four at the grocery store is $13.00. In combination with homegrown foods, the same meal is as low as $7.00.

Rural America is choosing to shop smarter, grow its own food or do without it.

Author's note: Many people interviewed for this piece were unwilling to allow their names or quotes in print. Each described the strife over food prices and hunger as demoralizing, inhumane and shameful. Revealing publicly the inability to feed oneself is too great for most.

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Rural America copes with oil prices

2008-12-05T20:40:00.003-05:00

Rising oil prices are isolating rural America. Small town way of life is in the throes of death.

Rural America is known for long-time residents who rely on slow rising gasoline prices to reach the supplies they need to sustain itself from month to month. The rising cost of oil is crippling these towns.

Kershaw, South Carolina is a prime example of a rural town of 2,500 residents. They travel once or twice per month to neighboring cities to buy the items not available in the small town. Many commute to the city to work.

Workers are moving closer to the jobs. Sheila Hinson, local Realtor, said, "My business is booming in the city, but hurting in Kershaw." She cannot sell the homes left behind.

"I have to go to town once a month now because I cannot afford the gas. I had to buy a bigger freezer," said Mary Johnson, of Johnson & Johnson. This local merchant has to open her store more hours despite doctor's orders in treatment her Parkinson's disease.

A Rite-Aid Pharmacy employee, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said, "We are filling less prescriptions. The senior citizens cannot afford to come get their medicine."

Daycare centers have waiting lists for the first time. Families that have always been one-income, now demand two incomes to make ends meet.

Children are suffering the cost of gasoline as well. School buses are prohibited from running air conditioning units. School boards are to vote by summer's end on the temperature in the classrooms this fall.

School commutes are hurting residents. Katherine Long, University of South Carolina (USC) student said, "I had to cut my class schedule because I cannot afford to drive to Columbia more than twice per week." USC is 50 miles from Kershaw.

Lancaster County Library has cut routes the Book Mobile has traveled for the last twelve years. Chief librarian said, "With the cost of gas, we are looking for ways to cut the budget."

Meals-on-Wheels has operated in Kershaw from the Lancaster office since it was founded. Meals have not been delivered to Kershaw since oil was $103.00 per barrel in February, 2008.

Other charities are struggling to meet the community's needs. When asked for a charity donation, H&H Chevrolet dealership owner Annette Hinson replied, "People cannot buy cars, and business has been so off that I cannot afford to give."

Many residents are buying golf carts to drive around town. Town drivers are more frequently sharing the road with motor scooters from local motor sports shops.

Life-long resident Kenny Roberts said, "Gas is too high. I can't go see everyone I help." He hauls garbage for the elderly and delivers food from Buffalo Baptist Church to its shut-in members.

Businesses are closing that have been supporting Kershaw for the last 25 years. "I cannot afford to drive here anymore," said business owner Marcus Bailey of Bailey's Pottery and Antiques. He is a resident of the smaller town Heath Springs, seven miles from Kershaw.

Kershaw owned and operated swimming pool is seeing fewer students and members. Residents are investing in above ground pools, splitting the cost with neighbors.

With the continued loss of tax base, Town Council member Rose Marie Baker said, "If something does not change, the only choice we will have is to raise taxes." The first reading of the 2008-2009 budget revealed the largest increase in Kershaw history with no significant increase in services.

Kershaw Mayor Tommy Baker is open to suggestions and solicits them before each Town Council meeting. "Kershaw needs more support from the county," he said.

Main Street business owners that remain have banded together to produce a business-oriented festival to draw more potential residents and business to Kershaw. Owners are not willing to let their small town die under the weight of rising gasoline prices.

The trickle-down effect of rising oil prices on rural America is the isolation of small town residents. They cannot afford to live the way they always have.

Elderly residents are suffering for lack of service which has sustained them in the past and the inability to get the medicine they need. Families have changed home life to support the cost of gasoline to make ends meet. Children are exposed to heat unnecessarily. Young workers are moving away.

The cost of oil is too great when it kills small towns.

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Blog on the move....

2008-11-23T16:00:00.002-05:00

Check out the new publications stemming from this blog....

Kids & Cars: Child Driveway Safety Tips

Vehicle Fires: Why They Happen & What to Do

Seat Belts on School Buses: Why the Law Should Change

Read more content by Ann Marie Dwyer by visiting any of these links. Comment on what you read! Add a tweet to your twitter about VA's Dream!

Just a look ahead...........

More money saving tips
More environmental tips
More consequences to rising prices

After that, I will be beginning an in depth look into the plight of rural America. Stay Tuned!

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Recycling for lower gas prices

2008-11-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

The production of recyclable materials consumes more fossil fuel than all of the cars in the United Sates. Plastic production consumes more than 8% of all fossil fuels worldwide.

By reducing the amount of virgin polythene for plastic containers, glass from sand & feldspar, fresh paper from trees, and aluminum, tin and steel cans from ore, everyone can control fuel consumption by recycling. By exercising the law of supply and demand, consumers have direct control over the cost of their own energy consumption, both electric and gasoline.

~ Recycling aluminum cans consumes 96% less energy than producing from ore, produces 95% less air pollution and produces 97% less water pollution.

~ Recycling one glass bottle will light a 100 watt light bulb for 4 hours. Producing glass from recycled glass reduces solid waste by 75% and air pollution by up to 20%.

~ Recycling one ton of plastic bottles reduces oil consumption by 1.8 tons. Recycling one pound of PET plastic (soda & water bottles) saves 12,000 BTU of energy. Recycling one plastic bottle conserves enough energy to fuel a 60 watt light bulb for almost six hours.

~ Recycling one ton of paper saves 380 gallons of oil- enough to drive a car 1,260 miles- and conserves 4,077 kilowatt hours of energy or enough to heat and cool an average American home for 6 months.

~ Recycling the 39,000,000 appliances last year produced enough steel to build 160 football stadiums. Of the 100,000,000 steel and tin cans used in America everyday, enough cans are thrown away to build all of the cars in America.

Plastic production is the single largest consumer of oil at 8% of the world's total oil consumption. Recycling of one-tenth of American HDPE bottles (detergent, milk and shampoo bottles) would keep 200,000,000 pounds of solid waste out of land fills and all of the gasoline necessary to transport it.

Aluminum recycling of one ton of cans will conserve 12,725 kilowatt hours, equal to the amount of the electricity used in the average American home in 10 years. This energy is the equivalent to 2,350 gallons of gasoline, or enough to drive a new car 82,250 miles.

Producing glass from only 50% post consumer recycled glass saves 1,330 pounds of sand, 151 pounds of feldspar, 433 pounds of soda ash, 433 pounds of limestone and 288 pounds of mining waste, as well as all of the fuel necessary to transport and process these materials.

Of the 62,000,000 newspapers printed today, 44,000,000 will be thrown away- the equivalent of 30,000,000 trees. Recycling one ton of paper reduces the use of processed energy by a minimum of 64% in addition to the savings of the fuel consumed by transporting and processing the trees.

Steel and tin recycling currently saves enough electrical energy each year to light Los Angeles (18,000,000 homes) for eight years. Recycling one car saves 1,400 pounds of coal, 120 pounds of limestone, 2,500 pounds of iron ore and all of the fuel to mine and transport the raw materials.

Take on oil companies by reducing the need for oil. One recycled aluminum can will save enough gasoline to fill the can half full, and recycling one six pack of aluminum cans would save enough gasoline to drive 5 miles. Producing plastic grocery bags from recycled plastic reduces energy consumption by 67%.

Recycling is more than just conserving the air, trees, coal, natural resources and oil on Earth. It is keeping money in your pocket.

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Why School Bus Seat Belt Laws Need to Change

2008-11-22T08:00:00.001-05:00

School buses manufactured in the United States after 1985 are equipped with seat belts. Each state has the responsibility for passing and enforcing seat belt laws.

Bluebird is the largest school bus manufacturer. Although its safety belts began appearing in smaller, van-type buses as early as 1978, it did not begin installing seat belts in all vehicles until the mid '80s.

Since the mid-1990s, seat belts in new school buses have changed from being one belt per seat to one belt per occupant. This was a measure adopted to keep schools from over crowding buses. Single seat belts reinforced the concept that the bus is safest at or below the recommended number of occupants.

State seat belt laws are not changed often. The proceeds from violations of the laws are normally earmarked for road repair, which is subsidized by the Federal government, enforcing the laws on school buses has not been priority. Considering the US driving record of school bus drivers, there has been no public outcry for a change in the law in nearly two decades.

In the 80s, staunch advocates against seat belts for school buses mounted a successful campaign to block a Federal incentive for states which passed school bus seat belt laws. Citing reasons like belt-slippage decapitation, individual weight differences and (faulty) free fall information, these advocates believed that seat belts posed more danger than safety.

States which were proposing the legislation lost their incentive to pass the measure, as there was no longer any profit. The official press release from the spin doctors was that school bus seat belts were not proven to decrease the injury to the riders in the crash investigations. What was removed from the press release was the investigation findings were biased toward fatality: No test dummy survived any of the crashes, with or without a seat belt.

Further supporting the abandonment of the legislation, this statement also issued: Constitutionality of regulating parochial schools is a question as yet unanswered by the Supreme Court. This was, in totality, because no such case existed. Parochial schools have never filed suit to avoid adherence to any state education or safety regulation to date.

Yet, schools, both public and parochial, and parents continued to advocate for their students' safety directly to the school bus manufacturers. This lead to the installation of seat belts.

Parochial schools, individually, may require their students to wear seat belts. In the absence of state legislation, public schools may not.

Until the parents demand that the law be changed regardless of the profit margin, child safety will take the proverbial backseat in state legislatures.

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When to replace your tires

2008-11-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

Tires are the first line of defense for a driver and greatly affect fuel economy. Each of these indicators will let you know when to replace your tires.

1. Less than 7/32 of an inch of tread is left on the tire. Place a penny in the tread. The tread should reach past Lincoln's eyebrow.

2. You have exceeded the number of miles on the tire rating. Tires are rated to travel a finite number of miles as a maximum. Replace tires within 1,000 miles of the maximum rated mileage.

Note: Americans will pay a fine for this tire, as after the fixative, it cannot be recycled by traditional methods.

5. You notice a wobbling in your steering. This is another sign that you may have a tire that is out of round.

6. You hear a whining, near whistling, sound when you drive. The whistling is produced by too much of the tire surface improperly touching the pavement. The exterior of the side wall is touching the pavement. Unusually worn side walls can blow out at high speeds (over 40 mph).

7. Your tire has become flat, and you have driven on it for more than one half mile. The inside wall of the tire will be damaged, as well as the exterior of the side wall. The tire will be unsafe to operate the vehicle.

8. You notice wear, nicks or cuts on the side wall of your tire. There is no reinforcement in or for the side wall. If it is damaged in any way, the tire should be replaced.

9. You notice uneven tread wear. If the inside or outside tread of your tire is worn more than the rest, it is best to replace it, but consult a professional. If the worn tread is less than 7/32 of an inch deep, definitely replace it.

Remember, tires are the only thing keeping you on the road. Take care of them.

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Water in your gas

2008-11-20T08:00:00.002-05:00

Since saving money on gas is important to everyone, with or without a car, fuel economy affects all of us. Water in gasoline is the number one fuel economy reducer. So how does it get there?

Water gets into your gas in stages. Depending on the handling of your gasoline, the time of your purchase and your own maintenance of it, in some cases the amount of water will be greater than the actual gasoline content of your tank.

How is that?
Gasoline is refined from crude oil. As it breaks down, the flammable portion of the gas separates from the remaining chemicals. One of the resultant chemicals is water. The only way for gas to break down is to be in contact with air. The oxygen in the air interacts with the gasoline causing it to fume. This effect is noticeable when you pump gas into a gas can. You will be able to see the flammable portion of the gasoline swirling in the air above the opening.

Gasoline evaporates at a remarkable rate. The more air in your tank, the faster the gasoline evaporates and breaks down into poorly burning fuel.

What does that do to fuel economy?
Water is a natural fire extinguisher. A mixture of gas and water will not burn as hot as gasoline alone. This is why the gas burns from the tank faster when the gauge is lower. It takes more volume to get the same amount of gasoline when it is mixed with water. As the fuel pump churns the liquid from the tank, the heavier water mixes with the gas.

Lower temperature burning gasoline reduces fuel economy considerably. By design, your tank backfills with air as you burn out the gasoline. When your gauge reaches half, get to a pump.

Does it only happen to my car?
Oil refineries' gasoline storage tanks have a floating ceiling to keep zero atmosphere from touching the gasoline. With minimal evaporation, the gasoline neither evaporates or degrades before it is trucked to gas stations.

The gas station does not have this measure in place. Their tanks are lined metal and backfill with air the same way your gas tank does. The longer the gasoline is in their tank, the more the gas will degrade, increasing the water content.

How do I stop it?
Keeping your tank full and buying gasoline the day after it is delivered are two ways to keep the least amount of water in your gas tank. The third way is to treat your gasoline once per month or every two thousand miles.

When you treat your gas, the water that is at the bottom of the tank goes through the engine at a faster rate. The qualities of the gas treatment will raise the octane level of your gas, causing it to burn hotter.

This increase in temperature ensures that the water is burned away completely. An added bonus to this is that it reduces the amount of rust and debris that can clog fuel injection systems.

The last step to keeping water out of your gas is to purchase and maintain a locking sealant gas cap. By preventing the gas fumes from escaping, the gas cap also keeps ambient air from condensing in the top of the gas tank. This condensation increases the water content.

Buy appropriate grade gasoline for your vehicle, maintain your gasoline, cap your tank and treat your tank regularly. These are the most efficient ways to keep water out of your gas.

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