How Many Rats Are There?

"Just when you are sure you have figured out how to win the rat race, along come faster rats." Author Unknown

The Big One with Tufts on his Ears

Each time Russell was awake, he enjoyed fellowship with someone. Russell's doctor and his wife came with a pastor of Team Church. The topic of conversation: Baseball. World Series, who remembered which player, hopeless fanaticism for teams of questionable reputation, reminiscence of Russell's ball slinging days. Lots of smiles and a heartfelt prayer.

The Skinny One

The paralysis is moving further up Russell's body. His kidneys have ceased function. The best I can do for him is cushion him with the umpteen pillows which so annoyed him when we first married; keep his pain to a minimum; and cradle his head while I speak smilingly, softly.

The Momma

Momma brought him comfort spending time with him. It is just what Mommas have done since the first child was born into this world.

The Grey One

Poppa told him jokes which made him smile. A warm heart is good for the soul. Poppa also helped me with those things Russell would have loved to have done, had he been able.

The Teeming Pack

The animals have all come to cuddle, or lick, or in the case of our 16-year-old Tom cat...ask where the treats are hiding.

The Spotted Ones

Nicholas rubbed his fresh hair cut on Daddy's hand and smiled as he rubbed snitched chocolate from his fingers onto Daddy's Optimus Prime blanket. Veronica announced how terrific her room looked, so Daddy could see it in his mind's eye the way he did when we bought the materials.

The Quiet One

Our hospice nurse came for what she tacitly knew was the last time. In her gentle way, she let me know she would be there for me when the time came.

The Sprinter

Our speech pathologist graciously dealt with tired little muggers when they arrived from school. She marveled at the youth of my parents, and her heart ached for our family.

The Latecomer

News does not always travel like wildfire. Sometimes the flames blaze so brightly in one spot, other trees take longer to singe. Email came from the pastor's wife of Christ Fellowship Community Church (just south of the North Carolina line) received the news only today. She offered the sweetest of support.

The Distant One

MAGIC Foundation co-founder called to keep me on track with my children's disorders and remind me she would remind me again of things I need to do when I am sane (ish) again.

The Pregnant One

Vanessa will have the baby either tomorrow or be scheduled for Monday pending the outcome of lab work run today and tomorrow. So if your guess was the pop-up timer was right, score one for yourself.

The One Running the Wrong Direction

That would be me. Try as I might to reconcile this travesty to the pragmatic, practical world in which I operate...Alas, I cannot. Love may be a many-spendored thing, but it is a beautiful, sweet-smelling rose covered with thorns.

Dearest Lord, may we have one more dawn?
Ann Marie

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No Good Deed

...goes unpunished.

Another Change

After a very long and arduous night Sunday, yesterday we changed Russell's medications dramatically. We changed anxiety medicine to a different anti-psychotic. We added another pain medication. Both of those were a good thing. His afternoon nap was almost six straight hours.

Pain Explained

The massive pain he felt on Sunday was the cancer pushing into his spine. It caused him to jump around and made him very agitated, as you can well imagine.

Monday, he was having a hard time moving his legs before his nap. When he awoke, he had lost the use of his legs. From what testing in which he would participate, his paralysis is from just above the waist.

Remember the Workout

I have begun some physical therapy with him. It is a similar beginner's therapy which I did with my sister when her multiple sclerosis took her from the chest down. For the first time, I am able to massage his uber-ticklish feet.

Simple changes, like the pillows from the couch helping to prop his legs and feet in the proper position, make a huge difference in his comfort level. Pain patches are no longer on his back, but adhered to the smooth skin on his sides: He asked I not shave his chest again. Yes, he is still in there!

A New Dawn

This morning, Russell's eyes were clearer than they had been in days. He was able to talk to me as though he understood the subject. He could not have coffee, like we have had so many mornings. Instead, he had a New York Mets sipper cup to have his Gatorade.

After a long time in the yard with Grandmomma and the dogs yesterday, the children enjoyed their first night in their remodeled room. They got to sleep in this morning. When they are awake and I have someone else here, I shall take them to school.

Today, Poppa and I shall finish their room, and I shall decorate with their favorite images of Spongebob Squarepants. Poppa is going to attach the headboard, and I am going to dress the bed in richly colored sheets. Each of their names will be on the wall, and each morning a new message for the day will appear on the dry erase wall. Truly, a den of learning!

We shall all enjoy today, for whatever it may bring.

Chin up!
Ann Marie

Visit Virginia's Dream. International shipping available on request.