Needed: One Personal Trainer

Baloney.

Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you feel better emotionally. Two birds: One stone. You do not need someone to plan it for you (and charge you for the privilege).

Sweatin' to the Oldies?

Only if you like the hairdo, striped shorts and that voice. Otherwise, think about more calming exercise.

• Yoga
• Pilates
• Stretching
• Walking
• Dancing (!!!)

Yes, dancing. Even if you are just playing the radio and gigging in the kitchen, the music and the movement will make you feel good.

Walking will help you pound out some confusion and help keep you in good heart health.

Stretching, Pilates and yoga will stretch the stress from your muscles.

Kicking It Up

Have you reached the point where you are seriously considering finding a bell tower? You need some more physical ideas.

• Tennis
• Batting Cage
• Driving Golf Balls
• (Kick) Boxing or Tae Bo
• Jogging or Running

The first four have something in common: Hitting. This particular physical release will do dual duty for you. You are producing a vat of endorphins and channeling your anger/frustration out of your body. You are striking out against your own pain.

Jogging and running are great cardio exercises. The feeling of your own heart beating in your chest is a physical manifestation you still have life. It dispels the tacit assumption you subconsciously made about your life being over.

Rocky Road or Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough?

Just tuck the carton in your pants...that is where it is going. Your diet better look just like the new nutritional pyramid.

Most importantly, it needs to begin with breakfast. No, you do not need a recipe for eggs Benedict (Although if you are out, you may as well order them.). Whether it is a plate of leftover dinner, a bowl of healthy cereal or fruit salad with a yogurt, fill your tank before you start the marathon the day will bring.

What good is a Lamborghini when it has no fuel?

Surfing

Whether channel or Internet, remember what your grandmother told your mother: Nothing good happens after midnight.

Mothers learn to sleep when their babies sleep. With a sick spouse, you have to do the same thing. Your body needs the sleep to re-balance dopamine and serotonin, brain chemicals needed for sanity.

Is the Lamborghini any better with a dead battery?

Pay Before you Pump

Before you can do any good for your spouse, you have to be in condition to care appropriately. This takes not only physical strength but also mental health. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your spouse.

Stay Strong,
Ann Marie

Visit Virginia's Dream. International shipping available on request.

Video Games!!!

"How old are you?"

You have no idea how many times Russell asked me that before he figured out that I was just engaging in a distraction technique. Now, he tells me to go whack someone (in Mafia Wars).

While I am playing games, I am not thinking about anything except the motions of my hands and the images on the screen. Contemplate distraction...

• No worrying.
• No "what if".
• No stress.

Is there a secret to it? Well, of course there is. If there weren't, your psychiatrist would have told you about it and lost his fee.

Choose a distraction which builds self-esteem or confidence, does not cause anxiety or stress and engages or (in my case) disengages your brain. Need some suggestions?

• Video games where you play free style (no opponents or timers)
• Meditation (sense of well being)
• Exercise which does not cause pain (sense of self-confidence)
• Hobbies, especially ones which craft a finished product (sense of accomplishment)
• Visiting, especially someone who has no one else or is having a hard time (sense of perspective)
• Reading
• Driving with the window down or the sunroof open
• Bathing, especially using aromatherapy
• Massage or salon care
• Journaling, blogging or writing
• Pet care, brushing and petting

Need some things to avoid?

• Eating, and cooking unless you are doing it for someone else
• Drinking alcohol (It is a depressant.)
• Narcotics, prescribed or illegal
• Speeding
• Visiting people who contribute to your anxiety or stress

If you are stressed, how are your children feeling? Remember, children (and pets) are very attuned to your stress level. Since they depend on you, take care of their mental health as well.

Schedule regular exercise and social activities for and with your children. Use stress relieving deep pressure or massage while you speak to them. Cuddle.

Play. Yes, strap on an eye patch and make yourself a cardboard sword (or grab a pool noodle) and live the pirate life with your children. Who cares how ridiculous you look? Your children do. They know to trust your guidance when THEY can relate to your inner child.

So, when you are tired of being an adult...stop.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with return to the mental time when the only thing you worried about was being caught (even before the forensic science boom) putting the muddy shoe prints on your mother's freshly mopped linoleum.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

Visit Virginia's Dream. International shipping available on request.

While the cat's away...

...the mice scurry to prepare for the winter of despair.

And scurry I did:

• Chores left undone beget sparkling surfaces.
• Allergens became an indoor endangered species.
• The bedroom was transformed into single space living quarters.
• Memorabilia of a fonder time was posted at every corner.
• Family portraits (my anniversary present) arrived and were proudly displayed.
• Thank you notes purchased.
• Funeral arrangements explored.
• The telephone battery was worn dead each day. (Many thanks to all of those who listened, advised, prayed, cried, made me laugh and had the courage to change the subject.)
• A million tears fell.
• Emotions ran high.

I knew I needed to run the full gamut of emotions before Russell got home...then, I would have to be the strong one for everyone. Why? My role was going to change.

I would no longer be allowed to show my dread. You see, it is not fear. Those close to me know I have absolutely no fear, truly: NONE. I am so confident, at 20 I was declared DNR. (I inserted that link for a reason.)

I had to execute an intricate strategy to ensure the least amount of disruption for my family. For instance:

• Plan how to explain to my pregnant daughter our first grandchild may not be born with a grandfather.
• Plan how to encapsulate the epic battle with the South Carolina Department of Education (We will blog that later.) so as to prevent its intrusion into his more delicate times.
• Plan how to procure another profession of faith. I could not bear thinking my husband would not enter the Kingdom of God.
• Prepare all of the therapists and the school of the scheduling disaster area which was well on its way to becoming routine.
• Comfort some of our care givers who would be party to Russell's illness.
• Mentally prepare for the conversation of final wishes and wills.

How did I pull this off? I am not a miracle worker, but I have friends and family who are. I talked to those who are my dearest friends. I cried on the telephone with my mother and sisters. I prayed with everyone who would pray with me. I spoke to the pastors. I emailed my globe-spanning prayer chain. And I played a lot of video games.

Next time we will talk about the value of distractions...for everyone.

Ann Marie

Visit Virginia's Dream. International shipping available on request.