Sick and tired and tired of being sick.

You knew from the date of diagnosis the sick days would be closer together and more intense. Coping with involuntarily becoming a single parent with another "child" can be stressful.

Be reasonable in your expectations.

Reasonableness is likely the last feeling you are willing to identify in your daily routine. But the fact remains, he cannot help do some of the simplest things...and those will be the first you notice. The first one I noticed: The litter box. Far and away, it is the chore I enjoy the least. I would sooner scrub the oven with a 2mm camel hair paint brush.

Look for the silver lining. You have a new perspective to appreciate the things he did for you regularly. Take a minute to be thankful to and for him, verbally and in prayer. Do you need to ask forgiveness for not being more appreciative?

Be reasonable for what you expect, and understanding for the things you cannot expect.

Eat the elephant.

Anyone can eat an elephant if they do it one bite at a time. Some pieces will be tough and gamy. Chew those first., but reward yourself with a tender bite next.

When you get to the gristle, share the meal. You are surrounded with well-intentioned people who are asking what they can do for you. Smile and, with a sunny expression, proclaim, "Chores!"

If you are uncomfortable asking for someone to do your chores, ask them to keep you company while you do them. If they volunteer to help, the offer is coming from the heart...take it to heart and let them.

Does anyone have a catapult?

You know there are some things you simply cannot do. If it is something which must be done, recruit two or three sets of hands to help you or to just do it for you. If it is something which may be skipped, skip it. Before you do, find your reflection, forgive yourself for being human and remind yourself staying sane and healthy is more important than edging the lawn.

Escape.

You are the one who is caring for the home and all of the residents. Take a vacation from your responsibilities. How?

• Take a walk with your dog or your best friend.
• Drive and look at the countryside.
• Talk to your pastor or counselor.
• Write in your journal or blog.
• Read a book on the porch with a tea or a decadent slice of cake.
• Go to the batting cage.
• Get a manicure or pedicure or, better still, both.
• Meditate.
• Listen to your favorite disc.
• Take a hot bath or shower with the door locked and the telephone off.

Even if all you have is thirty minutes, use it to take some necessary "me time". Removing yourself from the rat race is the best medicine to thwart what consistently feels like you are wearing Gouda shorts.

Chin up,
Ann Marie

Visit Virginia's Dream. International shipping available on request.